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Turning things around

April 28, 2008 — Leave a comment

My son started playing soccer just a few weeks ago, and it’s amazing to see how much progress he’s made in such a short period of time.

When the season started, he was brand new to the sport. In fact, all the kids on his team were new to it. The practices were challenging, and the games were pretty fun to watch, as the kids practically chased the ball from one end of the field to the other. They simply applied the principles of chase, a game they were already comfortable with, to the game of soccer. While it provided a great deal of entertainment for the parents — and frustration for the coaches — this strategy did not prove effective for winning games.

Now three weeks into the season, the kids are finally beginning to learn the rules of the new game. For the most part, they now understand that in order to score points for their team, they must somehow manage to get ahead of the ball and turn it around toward their goal.

Still, I took a good deal of time out of my day yesterday to work with my son one-on-one and help him put the principles of the game into practice. We worked hard, and he demonstrated a good deal of understanding and improvement.

It’s really kind of funny. Adults are a lot like these kids when it comes to handling their problems. We are pretty good at identifying the problem. We will even take the time to chase it around. But it’s not until we understand what’s required to manage the problem to our benefit that we experience success in life.

Like my son, you may need some one-on-one help in order to turn things around. I encourage you to make the time to find a trustworthy and knowledgeable friend, neighbor, minister, or counselor who can help you begin experiencing success and greater effectiveness in life. After all, there’s not a one of us who can’t benefit from some sort of coach from time to time.

What kind of problem are you just chasing around? How can you get ahead of the problem so you can get a good handle on it?

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Focus on friendship

April 25, 2008 — 1 Comment

All of us have a need for relationship with others. Friendship is one of the most important things for our emotional and social development. However, there are many people who simply don’t have friends. They may have acquaintances or associates but not really people who are truly there for them when the road of life gets steep.

I am fortunate to have a few friends who I know would walk on water for me if the situation required it. Although our lives are such that we may not talk every day now, there is still a very real sense in which we can pick up the phone at any point and know without a doubt that there will be a kind, caring, and invested person on the other end of the line.

As I meet with people on a regular basis through the context of church and counseling, I am burdened by the amazing lack of true friendships that many in our society have. Life is so busy in the booming Dallas area, as is the case in so many parts of the country. However, even in rural America it seems that people are becoming more and more disconnected from one another despite the many seemingly helpful advances in technology. Just because we have become more wired does not necessarily mean we have become more connected. The distinction is significant.

In a society marked by late works hours, closed garage doors, and privacy fences, I fear that we have perhaps insulated ourselves from one of the most powerful elements of life — friendship. Of course, having friendships and attachments to others is not enough. We must have the right kinds of friendships that help us up rather than pull us down.

Listen to these words from Scripture:

Iron sharpens iron,
So one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17)

A friend loves at all times,
And a brother is born for adversity. (Proverbs 17:17)

The quality of our friendships is important. It has been said that a friend is someone who will help you move — and a real friend is someone who will help you move a body. Now, I’m not sure I would advocate that, but you get the idea.

Friends not only accept us, but they also enhance us, bringing out positive qualities and serving to refine us. They provide avenues for love, accountability, encouragement, and support. Who among us doesn’t need those things?

I have often heard that a person who can make it through life and count five good friends is truly blessed. After all, we can’t afford to invest the time and energy into a great number of people. But having a few close people to be our friends, confidants, and comrades is a blessing of inestimable worth.

Maybe today is a good day to evaluate your own friendships. Who do you call a friend? Who could you call at 3:00 a.m. without a second thought, should a need arise? Are you more concerned with having friends — or with being a friend? These are just a few questions that should get you going.

Perhaps you are surrounded by people but feeling more alone than ever before. You don’t have to go through life like that. Make today a time to evaluate the reasons for your situation — and to do something different. We must be proactive in this area. . . or the passage of time will find us empty and alone.

Don’t let that be true for you.

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