Archives For children

Everyone needs a friend

August 30, 2009 — 3 Comments

friendshipTonight my heart was ripped out.

Our move to North Little Rock has been such a rich time for me and my family. We absolutely love our church and community. I am really enjoying my ministry and staff team. And God is clearly working in and through us to have Kingdom impact.

But I’d by lying if I said the move had been easy for my son. We tend to think of kids as really resilient people — but the fact is that my son is, for better or worse, more like a little adult. He thinks and experiences life at a different level than most of the kids his age. I guess he’s a lot like his dad was as a child.

And that maturity, while often beneficial, also can complicate things. Take friendship, for example. I met my very best friend in Kindergarten. And while our relationship has changed through the years — through marriage, kids, and all the stuff of life — it has endured. I’m one of those people with lots of acquaintances and very few friends. But the friends I have are rock-solid — people I can count on to be trustworthy, dependable, and present in a moment’s notice if the situation called for it.

Well, tonight as my son and I were doing sunshine and clouds, I asked him about the phone call from his friend today. He choked up and started to cry and said in a muffled voice, “I just miss him so much.”

I cried too — not because I also miss friends, although I do. . .not because I typically cry with those who cry, although I do. . .and not because I wish I could somehow better guard my son’s young heart, although I do.

I cried because I love my son, and I hate to see him hurting.

You know, God is like that with His children too. He loves us with a love that is unrelenting. . .a love that won’t let go. And although He understands all our struggles, He also hates to see us hurting.

I know that my son misses his friend. He wants to share with him about the Air Force planes we see around here all the time. He wants to play Legos with him and use that amazing imagination that God has given him. But more than anything, he wants to just be there physically with his friend.

Phone calls and emails – while helpful — are not sufficient to bridge the gap between two hearts. They are no substitute for the companionship that comes from being able to converse and share life together.

And while I’m saddened that this new situation is such a challenge for my son, I am heartened to know that he has learned early in life the value of a friend.

Because everyone needs a friend. And I believe he’s going to make a really good one for someone else very soon.

In Uncategorized , , , , , , , ,
permalink

What did you say?!

August 19, 2009 — 2 Comments

Water-Cooler ConversationCommunication is such an important part of our lives. It has been said that where two people exist in close proximity, communication is taking place — whether or not words are ever exchanged. That’s because communication is more than words. It’s about those non-verbal factors, like facial expressions, body language, and eye contact.

Communication really is a powerful thing. And it can be positive or negative. As a church staff member, I have always enjoyed church-related jokes and communication bloopers. Take these for example:

  • “Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.”
     
  • “For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.”
     
  • “Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.”

Yes, sometimes in spite of our best efforts, the words just don’t come out quite right. I remember a Seminary president talking in chapel one day about the off-campus centers. . .only he referred to them as “off-center campuses.” Hmmm. . .not exactly the same, is it?

One of my favorite children’s book series is that of Amelia Bedelia, the well-meaning housekeeper who simply took things way too literally. When asked to “put out the lights,” she actually unscrewed the bulbs and took them outside. When asked to separate the eggs, she placed one on the cabinet and one on the stove.

Parents have to be careful in communicating with children as well. . . especially young children. Sometimes they just hear things differently than we intend. During a recent furniture-shopping adventure, my eight-year-old son assured me that mom did not want a couch; “she wants a sexual,” he insisted. Wow, that one was pretty impossible not to laugh about. Perhaps it was his take on the discussion that made me more open to the sectional that now finds its home in our living room.

It is so important to give serious consideration not only to our words but also to our non-verbal and para-verbal communication (elements such as tone, rate of speech, and cadence). In fact, experts explain that only about seven percent of communication actually comes from the words themselves! That’s precisely why we must all be especially careful when communicating via e-mail and text messages. Tone is difficult to accurately interpret, and those silly little emoticons are only marginally helpful!

As you go through this week, I encourage you to be very intentional about the way you communicate with others. Listen for mixed messages. Pay attention to your body language and tone of voice. And choose your words carefully. Don’t expect people to be able to read your mind!

With a little extra effort, you can experience the joy that comes from clear and consistent communication.

In Uncategorized , , , , , ,
permalink