Just this week alone I’ve found myself in the path of a wide variety of people — people in my office, people on the street, people many states away via phone or internet — people who are . . .

. . . questioning the existence of God

. . . struggling to know He cares

. . . dealing with the reality of death

. . . grieving a complicated loss

. . . seeking to connect with God

. . . processing impending unemployment

. . . celebrating a newborn baby

. . . asking tough questions of God

. . . working to save their marriage

. . . dealing with rebellious kids

. . . contemplating the purpose of life

. . . hoping for the best

. . . expecting the worst

Sometimes there are no words.

Sometimes there are no actions needed.

Sometimes the tears just come. And I realize that no words are required. Only love. Only compassion. Only tenderness.

It’s at those times that God takes over, and I sense His Holy Spirit at work in me and around me.

And I know that He is good . . . faithful . . . completely in control.

And I remember that He is love.

And that His grace is enough for me . . . just as it is for you.

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who controls our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will. — Romans 8:26-27

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I’m finding that in those times of difficulty, it is important to take time to reflect on the blessings of life. And I have many of them. When discouragement comes, we have a choice to make. We can focus on the negatives, or we can focus on the positives.

For example, no matter what I may be facing, God has blessed me with a wonderfully supportive wife, two incredible kids, and a thriving ministry in a church that I love dearly. These are truly blessings from above, and when I pause to recognize them as such, I help any feelings of discouragement to diminish.

You know, I’m a lot like the apostle Paul. He was a man who knew how to make good choices — but that didn’t necessarily mean he always made them (Rom. 7:15). He was a man who was passionate, zealous, and strong-willed. He knew what it was to have plenty and to be in want (Phil. 4:12). He struggled with weaknesses and a ‘thorn in the flesh’ (2 Cor. 12:7), yet he trusted God to reveal His power even through those things (2 Cor. 12:9-10).

Paul knew the joy that comes from putting others first and considering them better than himself (Phil. 2:2-3). In fact, many of us understand the truth in those words as well. When we serve through a ministry or volunteer in our community, we are exposed to needs that make ours seem less urgent.

For today I will seek above all to follow Paul’s instructions in Phil. 4:8:

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things.”

No matter what your struggle or state of mind, may you find strength for today as you focus on blessings, as you pray with thanksgiving, and as you rest in the shelter of His unfailing love.

There is so much suffering in this world. From Haiti to Chile and all around the globe, the extraordinary troubles, dangers, and snares of humankind tug at the heartstrings of this rather ordinary man. A couple days ago I shared some thoughts regarding suicide — triggered, of course by the news of Andrew Koenig’s death in Vancouver. Today news of the suicide of Marie Osmond’s 18-year-old son, Michael, underscored the urgency of sharing hope with those who most need to know that other people care.

Tonight in one of my regular online ‘reading rooms’ I ran across a post that spoke so eloquently to this incredible societal issue — but more importantly to those who believe all hope is lost.

So for a moment, I hope you’ll set aside any religious and political differences and consider this Prayer from the Living World.

His family apparently became alarmed when he did not board a flight from Vancouver to Los Angeles. As the family made contacts to his friends, they became even more alarmed to find that on top of a particularly despondent-sounding letter to them, Andrew had also sold or given away many of his possessions.

Today the family’s worst fears were confirmed when Andrew’s body was found in his beloved Stanley Park.

Andrew, like many people in our society, suffered from depression. He had reportedly stopped taking his medication a year or so ago. Andrew’s decision to take his life was clearly not a hasty choice. The path of his recent days was strewn with warning signs.

Suicide is described so often as “a permanent solution to a temporary problem,” yet it is a decision made by more than 33,000 Americans each year. In 2007, suicide was the third leading cause of death among people age 15-24. Overall in the U.S., suicide is the 11th leading cause of death, with one suicide every sixteen minutes — and an attempt almost every minute. (More facts and figures here.)

I often hear people say that they could not imagine taking their own life. However, I contend that suicidal thoughts are not strangers to most people. Thankfully the majority of suicidal thoughts can be characterized as fleeting — come and go. But when those thoughts begin to come and stay — even take root — then trouble is on the horizon.

Here are some of the thoughts that fuel suicidal behavior:

• “No one will miss me when I’m gone.”
• “Life is just not worth living.”
• “I’m just a screw-up.”
• “I’m just tired of fighting.”

I am certainly no stranger to suicidal thoughts. I remember those come-and-go thoughts when I was in ninth grade. Fortunately, the come-and-stay thoughts have never been a part of my life. But I think a lot of that has to do with my sense of connectedness to family and friends.

It’s no wonder that so many people consider suicide. Our technologically connected society has in many ways reduced friendship to a collection of tweets and status updates . . . which might help a person feel connected but does very little to speak to a hurting heart.

In a day and age marked by economic strife and increasing pressure on many fronts, I expect that we will see a rise in suicides over the next several years. Keep in mind though that there is no such thing as a ‘successful’ suicide attempt.

Andrew Koenig’s mother, Judith, said, “In his pain, he didn’t realize help was available to him.”

If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, please don’t think you are all alone. Help is available. If you know someone who may be considering suicide, by all means talk with them. One thing is for sure: talking about it will not give them the idea. Your concern might just be the reminder they need that someone truly does care.

Just think . . . in the time it has taken you to read this article,  as many as three people have tried to kill themselves. You can make a difference to someone who has lost hope. As you go through life, take time to listen to others. Take time to be a friend. Take time to care.

I’m in the process of becoming what Christ wants me to be.

Rather than spending a lot of time focusing on what I want to do in the year ahead (even though I have a few things in mind), I think my energy would be better served seeking what God wants to do through me.

This world is such a chaotic place, and as I’ve alluded to a number of times before, sometimes that gets me down. I’ve learned through the years that there’s no shame in expressing emotions. There’s no shame in being real, authentic, transparent. There are risks involved with all those things — but I find that the joys far outweigh the vulnerabilities — and the opportunities for heart-to-heart ministry are found most readily at the intersections of our weaknesses. Even the psalmist dealt with emotional highs and lows, as evidenced in his writings. And I seriously doubt that he’d care much about playing the role of ‘perfect Christian’ that our culture seems so eager to cast — all for the sake of tearing down later in the theatre of public opinion.

I’m not the only one with doubts and fears either. In fact, what would a Christmas play be without an angel to say, “Do not be afraid”?

I’m not the only one who sometimes ventures off-course in my daily time with God. In my walk with Him, sometimes I lag behind . . . sometimes I wander ahead.

I’m not the only one who sometimes says things I shouldn’t say and does things I shouldn’t do. It’s called sin, and Scripture clearly tells us that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23)

I’m not the only one who sometimes wrestles with priorities and suffers the physical, spiritual, and emotional consequences of an unbalanced life.

No, I’m not the only one. But there’s still not much consolation in that fact.

Here’s something different though: I am the only one who can moment by moment make the choice to surrender my will to that of the Father . . . to allow myself to just sit with Him awhile . . . to be still and know that He is God.

I’ve heard it said that the longer you live, the more you realize you don’t know. As I cross over into a new year, I will view it as a new beginning of sorts. But more than that, I will choose to view each day as a precious gift in which the God of the universe allows me to know Him more fully and share His message more freely with those who need to hear.

I’m not a cookie-cutter Christian. Instead I am hand-crafted by the Master, called according to His purposes, and fearfully and wonderfully made to bring glory to Him alone.

That, my friends, is what I want to do best in the year ahead — in whatever form it may take.

I pray God’s richest blessings on you in the new year. More than that, I pray that you will know how wide, how long, how high, and how deep is the love of Christ. (Eph. 3:18)

It is my sincere belief that the times in which we live are urgent. And while I am confident in my eternal destiny by virtue of faith in Jesus Christ, it’s hard sometimes to not be afraid . . . to be anxious . . . to worry about tomorrow.

To all those who are in Christ, we truly have nothing to fear. The apostle Paul wrote in Philippians 1:21, “For me to live is Christ and to die is gain.” Of course, that doesn’t mean we necessarily look forward to experiencing trials and death, but we have the very promise of Jesus who himself acknowledged the anxious feeling that most of us have from time to time. He said, “In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33b)

The thing about having a personal relationship with Christ is that in spite of all the troubles, the questions, the frustrations, and the heartaches of this world, we can still experience abundant life. If you do not know for sure what would happen to your soul if you died today, I can’t think of anything more significant to you at this time.

God loves you more than you could possibly imagine. And He wants you to choose to enjoy that abiding peace and joy that can come only from a relationship with Him. John 3:16-17 says, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.”

If you have never trusted Christ as Savior and Lord of your life, what are you waiting for? Scripture states plainly that one day every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. I urge you to make sure — make absolutely sure — that you are ready to meet Him whenever that time comes for you. For those who wait until the mass chorus of confessions, it will be too late. I’m so glad that even though this world is not my home, Jesus has made a place for me. He’d love nothing more than to prepare a place for you too!

If you have questions about how you can experience this abundant life and hope for tomorrow, please feel free to contact me. You may also visit the sites listed below.

Real Life Stories of God’s Transforming Power
Here’s Hope for You

The other night I joined my kids for a game of Hide-n-Seek. While they counted to 20, I quickly positioned myself behind a chair in our family room. However, it wasn’t until I got back there that I realized the space really wasn’t large enough. So I contorted my body into a perpetual crunch, bending my feet upward at the ankles so as to remain hidden from sight.

And I waited.

And I waited.

And I waited.

For nearly fifteen minutes I waited, listening impatiently to the pitter-patter of little feet up and down the stairs! There were a couple of times when my physical pain was nearly unbearable, and in those times I found myself struggling not to snicker audibly at the mere thought of my predicament. Finally my three-year-old daughter crawled up in the chair and looked over the edge of the back. I can honestly say I’ve never been so glad to be found in all my life!

Needless to say, that spot can never be used again . . . not that I would!

In reflecting on this experience, I began to wonder about the lengths people go to in order to hide from people in life — not physically but emotionally and spiritually.

Think about it. We all tend to show people just what we think they want to see — or what we’re comfortable with them seeing. When it comes to some of our deeper struggles, especially those laden with guilt and shame, we resort to the same skill set that Adam and Eve used in the Garden of Eden: hiding.

We hide behind smiles. We hide behind silence. We hide behind stories and work and food and shopping and sex. The list of options are truly endless.

But just like that over-sized kid hiding behind a chair, what we crave more than anything is actually to be found . . . to be accepted . . . to be loved.

You know, hiding didn’t work for Adam and Eve. And it won’t work for us either — at least not forever. God sees everything. He knows our name. He formed our heart. There’s nothing in the world that will keep Him from loving you.

As you go through your day today, make note of when you find yourself trying to hide from others. Sooner or later the pain of hiding will likely begin to exceed your fear of being found.

Scripture tells us that Christ alone is our hiding place. He’s the One who fully understands every need, every struggle, every burden. But sometimes we need others to be His hands and feet to demonstrate that love in physical ways.

If you are spending your time and energy hiding out, take action to break that pattern. Even if you’ve been disappointed in others, you can begin re-building relationships of security and trust right where you are today.

After all, it gets awfully lonesome behind that chair. And sooner or later, you’ll have to go potty.

IT’S YOUR TURN!

• Do you have a ‘big chair’ experience?
• What one thing most keeps you from being real with others?

Our new-this-morning unemployment rate of 9.7% doesn’t begin to fully tell the story of the 7.4 million jobs lost since the current recession began in December 2007.

And for every one of those people without work, there is a story. . .a story of lost income. . .a story of emotional upheaval. . .a story of psychological distress.

Those families where jobs are lost experience higher rates of health issues, sleeplessness, anxiety, and depression. And the snowballing effects of unemployment lead many to feel that suicide is the only way out.

Yet somehow this weekend, we will celebrate Labor Day in the United States. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for celebrating holidays. And I’m all for celebrating the jobs that we do have in our nation. I just pray that in our quest to put an exclamation point on summer that we will find it in our hearts to be mindful of those who feel left behind by an economic environment that shows marginal improvement, at best.

Here are a few tips on how to connect with others in need this Labor Day weekend:

• Invite an unemployed family over to your place for a cook-out. Show them you care, and for a couple hours, help them escape from the constant worry that comes with being out of work and low on hope.
   
• Help someone polish a resume. A well-written and cleanly formatted resume can set a person apart in job screening processes. Your assistance could make a huge difference!
   
• Write a letter of recommendation for a friend or former colleague who is struggling to find work.
   
• Send a card or note of encouragement to someone who needs to know you care about their situation.
   
• Offer to watch the children of an unemployed parent for a few hours. This break will do wonders for them!
   
• Give a gift card for food or gasoline to someone without work. In this economy, even the basic resources are hard to come by, as indicated by the record numbers of people on government assistance.
   
• Make a donation of good-quality dress clothing and/or shoes to your local Salvation Army or Goodwill Store. After all, how many of us have far more than we need — in a wide range of sizes — hanging in our closets? Your gently used but poorly fitting garments might be great for a job interview situation for someone in need.

As the old saying goes, “No one can do everything, but everyone can do something.” I contend that if our nation is to get back on the right track, those of us who belong to Christ must start acting like it! It’s time for us to turn back to God, fall on our knees and repent of our sin. . .and demonstrate His amazing love to those in need.

You can be missional right where you are. No travel required. Look for the opportunities around you. . .and get involved in Jesus’ name.

Remember His words?

For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.

Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’” (Matthew 25: 35-39)

Having served in ministry and counseling settings for many years, I have had my fair share of dealings with suicide. My own experience is consistent with the premise that the victims come from all walks of life: a nurse, a banker’s husband, a public school superintendent, a medical doctor, an teenaged boy, a farmer, and a fifth grader — to name a few of them.

In dealing with the families of suicide victims, I am almost always met with wide-ranging responses, from “I can’t believe he would do this” to “There were signs that something wasn’t right.” Family members typically run the full gamut of emotions from shock and horror to outrage to self-blame — none of which is able to un-do the damage done by an independent self-destructive act.

There are many things we still don’t understand about suicide and why it happens. But there are some things we do know. For example, some groups are at higher risk than others. According to the Center for Disease Control, men are four times more likely than women to die from suicide. However, three times more women than men report attempting suicide. In addition, suicide rates are high among young people and those over age 65.

There are a variety of factors that can put a person at risk for attempting or committing suicide. However, having the risk factors does not always mean that suicide will take place. Risk factors include:

• Previous suicide attempt(s)
• History of depression or other mental illness
• Alcohol or drug abuse
• Family history of suicide or violence
• Physical illness
• Feeling alone

Suicide is a significant public health problem. More than 31,000 people kill themselves each year. More than 425,000 people with self-inflicted injuries are treated in emergency rooms each year. (CDC, 2006) Don’t become a statistic. If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide, even if you do not have an active plan to kill yourself, talk with someone about these thoughts. Help is available in a wide variety of places.

One of the things I hear over and over from those who are contemplating suicide is that they feel invisible to others, as if they really don’t count for anything. Many argue that they will not be missed by their families anyway. Perhaps the “D.C. Madam” felt this way too. Although she was widely recognized due to the handle assigned her by the news media, she was known by only a few.  And those people will remember her not as the “D.C. Madam” but rather as Deborah Jeane Palfrey. A daughter. A sister. A friend. A human being.

In many cases, suicide attempts are not so much a cry for help as a cry for love.

I contend that there is no problem suicide can solve. Someone is always available to talk at the National Suicide Hotline, 1.800.273.8255. Your primary care doctor, police department, and local emergency room are also good sources for help.

More and more during the course of day-to-day activities, I’m hearing signs of rising anxiety. The news reports on radio, TV, and internet are enough to push most anyone to the point of fear.

Then there’s the incredible oil prices, which are elevating prices of nearly everything, from gasoline to groceries and beyond. The mortgage crisis and record levels of consumer debt further exacerbate anxiety, as does this unbelievable political season. I have never been one to declare that the sky is falling, but I will not quickly dismiss today’s fears and anxiety as simple paranoia either.

In the face of increased stress, people seem to be working harder and longer hours, just to keep the bills paid. Stress leads to anxiety which can easily lead to feelings of hopelessness and despair, even clinical depression. Just today a client said to me, “I just feel so completely overwhelmed. It’s like one person just can’t make a difference the way things are now. I mean, it’s really scary how things are in our world.”

That is a true statement. After all, history serves as a pretty good indicator that things will likely get worse before they get better. We know that when the economy is bad, our society can seem to go nuts. Burglaries, thefts, and violent crimes all tend to increase in response to the rising stress level. So does marital and family strife.

Here’s the good news: Not one thing that is happening in the world is a surprise to God. In fact, He remains solidly in control. Let these verses encourage your heart today:

I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. (John 16:33, NIV)

Do not be anxious then, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘With what shall we clothe ourselves?’ For all these things the Gentiles eagerly seek; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious for tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:31-32, NASB)

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your forebearing spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:4-7, NASB)

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7, NIV)

Regardless how crazy things seem to get in this world in which we live, my prayer is that your faith is firmly in Christ. If not, I’d love nothing more than to share that hope with you. Feel free to contact me.

If you are struggling to manage your fear and anxiety, please don’t bottle it up. There are people who can help you cope more effectively. Perhaps the most courageous thing you can do today is just reach out and ask for that help.