“These Moments Called Today”

Whatever you are going through, wherever you might hide,
God is always waiting with His arms open wide.
He knows your disappointments, your challenges, and fears,
And He wants you to trust Him as He wipes away your tears.
When life leaves you speechless, and you don’t know what to say,
Just ask Him to light your path and help you find your way.
When you get discouraged, feel hopeless and alone,
Remember that He’s there for you and loves you as His own.
So however you are feeling, if you think He’s gone away,
Remember He is with you in these moments called ‘today.’

One of my dad’s favorite Christmas songs is Elvis Presley’s “Blue Christmas.” For many this year, the holidays are proving especially challenging — even blue, as the case may be. I know a number of people who have lost loved ones and are spending their first Christmas without a spouse, a child, a mother, a father, a sibling, a grandparent, or a best friend. For those who are grieving a loss, Christmastime can actually exacerbate their feelings of sadness and loneliness. Many of these people will make a brave effort to carry on. They may have managed to haul out the decorations, put up the tree, and listen to some festive music, but it’s just not the same.

The very memories that comfort can also evoke a deeper pain. Little things the person never even thought about before are now right at the forefront of the mind. They run across an ornament that held special meaning for their loved one, and their eyes begin to water. They hear a silly Christmas song that used to drive their loved one crazy — or a sappy movie often shared together — yet somehow this year that memory just underscores the sense of loss. They cook — or are served — a favorite holiday food their loved one just couldn’t do without, and it just doesn’t taste the same. During times like this we often discover a profound truth: The things we thought we loved most were really only loved because of the ones we shared them with.

There are many firsts that are hard to handle:

• Finding that stocking and knowing it probably doesn’t need to be hung this year.
• Addressing Christmas cards, signed without the deceased family member’s name. (This exercise is ten times worse when the annual card or letter is the means by which news of the death must be shared with long-distance friends and acquaintances.)
• Realizing that this year is the first year — maybe ever — that cards and/or gifts will not be exchanged with that special person.

Of course, death is not the only thing that can sour the holiday season. There are many parents dealing with devastating illnesses — for themselves or one of their children. Every effort may be made to make this Christmas the best one ever. After all, the unspoken fear is that this might be the last one they’ll have together. And even with all the effort put forward, the reality is that neither party may have enough energy to actually enjoy it.

I’ve been reminded this year that life is so incredibly precious. I attended one funeral service last week in Mississippi — and had another this week that I really should have attended. Over the next couple days I’ll attend two more. I have several friends and family members fighting extremely uphill battles with cancer — and other friends who are sitting with their terminally ill children, already in hospice care. For them, twinkling Christmas lights just don’t matter much right now.

With just a week or so left before Christmas Day, let me offer a few thoughts. Perhaps you are one of those people I’ve described above. If so, don’t be too hard on yourself. Everyone grieves a little differently. Resist the urge to isolate yourself from the hustle and bustle around you. The sounds that seem so obnoxiously annoying this year will, in time, gain a new sense of significance that you’ll again appreciate. Joy can return to your hurting heart — and it will. Also, know that as silly as it might sound, a ‘scheduled cry time’ may take the edge off and allow you to be more engaged with those around you. You must find what works for you — and unfortunately that process is mainly trial-and-error.

If you’re someone who just stumbled upon this page and is thinking, “How depressing!”, then I congratulate you on your banner year — but remind you that we usually don’t know when we’ll transfer from joy-filled to grief-stricken. Tragedy is unpredictable, and loss is often unforeseen. Be sensitive to those in your life who are going through the holidays without someone they love. Jot them a note of encouragement, just to let them know you’re thinking about them and you care. Don’t worry, you won’t ‘remind’ them of their loss; they’re quite aware of it. It will mean more to them than you can possibly know to hear that someone remembers the hole in their heart.

In practicing grace, kindness, and generosity to those who are grieving, sad, burdened or downtrodden, you will embrace the very essence of what this season is all about. You can’t keep anyone from having a ‘blue Christmas,’ but you can help it be just a shade lighter. (See what one church in Tennessee is doing to minister to those who are hurting: Click Here)

IT’S YOUR TURN!

• Are you experiencing a blue Christmas this year? If so, what suggestions can you offer for how people can help you?
• Have you recently ministered to someone who is struggling this holiday season? How was your attempt at kindness received?

You know how the Doppler effect kicks in with a motorcycle or freight train? You hear the sound coming in the distance . . . then it gets really loud when it’s right beside you . . . then it fades off into the distance. Well, I think there’s a little bit of Doppler in the way we greet people too. Think about it. How often does someone ask you how you’re doing — only to walk right past you without skipping a beat? If we’re honest, it happens pretty often. If we’re doubly honest, we can probably say that we’ve been guilty of doing the same thing to others.

Life is hard. Times are tough. Worries are rampant. Every time you turn on the news, there’s something else to be concerned about. Rising costs. Falling home values. Broken families. Sometimes the burden of care becomes too great. If it weren’t for the power of Christ at work within me, there would be absolutely no way I could function in this world.

People today bear a lot of hurts, wounds, scars, sorrows, anger, confusion. You get the point. Every day we have a responsibility to help someone move closer to God. A warm smile, a gentle touch, and a friendly hello can go a long way to make one’s day a bit brighter. We never know how God is going to use us from one minute to the next, but we can be assured that He cares deeply about people — and wants us to care too. My wife, Michelle, recently said it this way:

I want to leave people better than I met them. I want to bring joy, peace, and gratitude to the people I encounter on a daily basis. I want them to walk away feeling better. Sometimes this requires a simple smile. Other times it requires kind words, forgiveness, and/or a listening ear. It isn’t always easy, or convenient.  It may require me giving up my way – or losing an argument.  But, in the end, it is sharing God’s love with them.

As you go through the rest of your week, I encourage you to make time for people. Don’t just offer a trite, rhetorical “How are you?” Instead, take time to listen to people. Take time to connect on a personal level. Take time to bask in the interruptions of life in order that they might become ministry opportunities.

I’ve long heard the statement, “You may be the only Jesus some people ever see.” Will they see Jesus in you today?

IT’S YOUR TURN!
How do you feel when someone takes time to show interest in and concern for you? How can you be more sensitive to and available for those in your workplace, neighborhood, or church?

Ministry leaders are particularly prone to discouragement due to the intense demands on their time and families as well as the extremely relational nature of the work. The truth is that most of us really do want to please people, but there’s absolutely no way to please all the people all the time.

It’s on these down days that my affirmation file comes in very handy. I keep this tattered file in one of my desk drawers. It has made a number of moves through the years as I’ve followed God to different places along my ministry journey. The label on the tab says simply ‘Affirmation/Encouragement,’ and it’s filled with cards, letters, and notes of appreciation from various people I’ve met along the way. Over the past few years, an increasing percentage of these items are in the form of email and Facebook print-outs. Most of the notes are from people I know pretty well, although some are from those with whom my life intersected only briefly as I led a workshop, officiated a funeral,  or ministered in some other way.

I’ve kept a file like this for as long as I can remember, and I strongly recommend that you keep one too — for several key reasons:

1. You need reminders of the really good moments in your life. One of the enemy’s greatest and most effective tools is that of discouragement. Written words have value long after the ink dries. When discouragement comes I essentially have two choices: I can wallow in self-pity (which accomplishes nothing helpful), or I can focus on my blessings, strengths, and past accomplishments. I like to think that the apostle Paul might have kept an affirmation file too. Writing to the Philippians, he said:

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. – Philippians 4:8, ESV

Paul is often described as a sort of spiritual superhero who, like Superman, underwent an almost instantaneous transformation when he encountered Jesus on the road to Damascus. Clearly, as one who had a legacy of persecuting believers, Paul could have focused on his past sins and selfish actions. Instead he made the choice to channel his energies into being different and doing good things, all for the sake of the gospel message.

2. You need perspective in times of self-doubt. We often go through seasons of life in which our struggles seem never-ending. Re-reading the materials in my affirmation file helps me remember that God uses me to make a difference in the lives of others, even at times when I’m totally unaware of my influence. I find that I am my own worst critic, and the notes in my file remind me that plenty of people are with me, for me, and behind me — encouraging me to finish strong in this marathon of life.

3. You need “strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow.” Those are words from one of my favorite hymns, “Great is Thy Faithfulness.” I draw a lot of strength from the power of God’s Word. So many of the items in my affirmation file contain a Scripture verse that is just what I need to hear in days of trial. Many of those verses are near and dear to my heart. They are constant reminders that God’s Word never returns void.

An added benefit of keeping an affirmation file is its intrinsic ability to help me practice gratitude to others. A hand-written note or other expression of encouragement can absolutely speak life into someone’s day.

May you find joy and encouragement as you live and lead, and may you find joy as you affirm others along life’s path.

IT’S YOUR TURN!
Do you keep an affirmation file? How are you impacted by a written expression of gratitude?

I’ve always been a real fan of fall. I love the colors and the transition from hot temperatures to cooler, more bearable weather. However, the older I get, the more I love springtime. Having grown up in the deep South, the return of spring was hailed by frolicking wildlife seemingly celebrating the end of the hunker-down season. I remember watching squirrels at play, almost overnight shedding their poofy winter coats for something a little more tailored. The red robins do a similar change of wardrobe that I’ve always found fascinating.

Having returned to the real South from Texas (which I dearly love) nearly two years ago, I’ve again fallen in love with the sights and sounds of spring. Just in the past few weeks, the hills of Arkansas have come alive with flowering trees and shrubs, beautifully brilliant daffodils and tulips (my wife’s favorite), and mysteriously majestic dogwood trees, all of which announce the end of winter. I absolutely love my backyard because of the dogwood that for a period of just a couple weeks transforms the landscape with its bright white blossoms.

Not everything is so cheery in life. If you’re anything like me, you’ve largely given up on finding any good news on TV. In fact, too much time with that can make me quite depressed. I’ve found though that while man is destined to disappoint, God is faithful to do just what He says He will do. Just as his eye is on the sparrow, we can be assured that He is watching over His children. My recent visit to Israel was filled with so many amazing sights. I think my personal favorites were the lilies of the field (seen at left). Jesus himself said that “even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.” (Matt. 6:29, ESV) As you can see, judging from this photo, who could argue that?

In a world filled with so much hurt, pain, sickness, calamity, brokenness, grief, and loss, it helps me to look around and again “taste and see that the Lord is good.” (Psalm 34:8, ESV). When you feel all alone and begin to  think all hope is lost, lift up your head and cast your eyes on the evidence of our Creator — and know that He cares for you. If you’re reading this and don’t know what it’s like to have peace in the midst of the storm, I encourage you to contact me, and let me help you discover new life today. Whatever you may be going through, God can give you just what you need to persevere.

IT’S YOUR TURN!
What is your favorite thing about spring? How do you stay focused on good in a world full of evil?

Just this week alone I’ve found myself in the path of a wide variety of people — people in my office, people on the street, people many states away via phone or internet — people who are . . .

. . . questioning the existence of God

. . . struggling to know He cares

. . . dealing with the reality of death

. . . grieving a complicated loss

. . . seeking to connect with God

. . . processing impending unemployment

. . . celebrating a newborn baby

. . . asking tough questions of God

. . . working to save their marriage

. . . dealing with rebellious kids

. . . contemplating the purpose of life

. . . hoping for the best

. . . expecting the worst

Sometimes there are no words.

Sometimes there are no actions needed.

Sometimes the tears just come. And I realize that no words are required. Only love. Only compassion. Only tenderness.

It’s at those times that God takes over, and I sense His Holy Spirit at work in me and around me.

And I know that He is good . . . faithful . . . completely in control.

And I remember that He is love.

And that His grace is enough for me . . . just as it is for you.

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who controls our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will. — Romans 8:26-27

INTERACT WITH US
How have you had the opportunity to minister this week? How has God used someone to minister to you in a time of need? Let your words encourage someone today. Join the conversation on our Facebook page.

I’m finding that in those times of difficulty, it is important to take time to reflect on the blessings of life. And I have many of them. When discouragement comes, we have a choice to make. We can focus on the negatives, or we can focus on the positives.

For example, no matter what I may be facing, God has blessed me with a wonderfully supportive wife, two incredible kids, and a thriving ministry in a church that I love dearly. These are truly blessings from above, and when I pause to recognize them as such, I help any feelings of discouragement to diminish.

You know, I’m a lot like the apostle Paul. He was a man who knew how to make good choices — but that didn’t necessarily mean he always made them (Rom. 7:15). He was a man who was passionate, zealous, and strong-willed. He knew what it was to have plenty and to be in want (Phil. 4:12). He struggled with weaknesses and a ‘thorn in the flesh’ (2 Cor. 12:7), yet he trusted God to reveal His power even through those things (2 Cor. 12:9-10).

Paul knew the joy that comes from putting others first and considering them better than himself (Phil. 2:2-3). In fact, many of us understand the truth in those words as well. When we serve through a ministry or volunteer in our community, we are exposed to needs that make ours seem less urgent.

For today I will seek above all to follow Paul’s instructions in Phil. 4:8:

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things.”

No matter what your struggle or state of mind, may you find strength for today as you focus on blessings, as you pray with thanksgiving, and as you rest in the shelter of His unfailing love.

There is so much suffering in this world. From Haiti to Chile and all around the globe, the extraordinary troubles, dangers, and snares of humankind tug at the heartstrings of this rather ordinary man. A couple days ago I shared some thoughts regarding suicide — triggered, of course by the news of Andrew Koenig’s death in Vancouver. Today news of the suicide of Marie Osmond’s 18-year-old son, Michael, underscored the urgency of sharing hope with those who most need to know that other people care.

Tonight in one of my regular online ‘reading rooms’ I ran across a post that spoke so eloquently to this incredible societal issue — but more importantly to those who believe all hope is lost.

So for a moment, I hope you’ll set aside any religious and political differences and consider this Prayer from the Living World.

His family apparently became alarmed when he did not board a flight from Vancouver to Los Angeles. As the family made contacts to his friends, they became even more alarmed to find that on top of a particularly despondent-sounding letter to them, Andrew had also sold or given away many of his possessions.

Today the family’s worst fears were confirmed when Andrew’s body was found in his beloved Stanley Park.

Andrew, like many people in our society, suffered from depression. He had reportedly stopped taking his medication a year or so ago. Andrew’s decision to take his life was clearly not a hasty choice. The path of his recent days was strewn with warning signs.

Suicide is described so often as “a permanent solution to a temporary problem,” yet it is a decision made by more than 33,000 Americans each year. In 2007, suicide was the third leading cause of death among people age 15-24. Overall in the U.S., suicide is the 11th leading cause of death, with one suicide every sixteen minutes — and an attempt almost every minute. (More facts and figures here.)

I often hear people say that they could not imagine taking their own life. However, I contend that suicidal thoughts are not strangers to most people. Thankfully the majority of suicidal thoughts can be characterized as fleeting — come and go. But when those thoughts begin to come and stay — even take root — then trouble is on the horizon.

Here are some of the thoughts that fuel suicidal behavior:

• “No one will miss me when I’m gone.”
• “Life is just not worth living.”
• “I’m just a screw-up.”
• “I’m just tired of fighting.”

I am certainly no stranger to suicidal thoughts. I remember those come-and-go thoughts when I was in ninth grade. Fortunately, the come-and-stay thoughts have never been a part of my life. But I think a lot of that has to do with my sense of connectedness to family and friends.

It’s no wonder that so many people consider suicide. Our technologically connected society has in many ways reduced friendship to a collection of tweets and status updates . . . which might help a person feel connected but does very little to speak to a hurting heart.

In a day and age marked by economic strife and increasing pressure on many fronts, I expect that we will see a rise in suicides over the next several years. Keep in mind though that there is no such thing as a ‘successful’ suicide attempt.

Andrew Koenig’s mother, Judith, said, “In his pain, he didn’t realize help was available to him.”

If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, please don’t think you are all alone. Help is available. If you know someone who may be considering suicide, by all means talk with them. One thing is for sure: talking about it will not give them the idea. Your concern might just be the reminder they need that someone truly does care.

Just think . . . in the time it has taken you to read this article,  as many as three people have tried to kill themselves. You can make a difference to someone who has lost hope. As you go through life, take time to listen to others. Take time to be a friend. Take time to care.

I’m in the process of becoming what Christ wants me to be.

Rather than spending a lot of time focusing on what I want to do in the year ahead (even though I have a few things in mind), I think my energy would be better served seeking what God wants to do through me.

This world is such a chaotic place, and as I’ve alluded to a number of times before, sometimes that gets me down. I’ve learned through the years that there’s no shame in expressing emotions. There’s no shame in being real, authentic, transparent. There are risks involved with all those things — but I find that the joys far outweigh the vulnerabilities — and the opportunities for heart-to-heart ministry are found most readily at the intersections of our weaknesses. Even the psalmist dealt with emotional highs and lows, as evidenced in his writings. And I seriously doubt that he’d care much about playing the role of ‘perfect Christian’ that our culture seems so eager to cast — all for the sake of tearing down later in the theatre of public opinion.

I’m not the only one with doubts and fears either. In fact, what would a Christmas play be without an angel to say, “Do not be afraid”?

I’m not the only one who sometimes ventures off-course in my daily time with God. In my walk with Him, sometimes I lag behind . . . sometimes I wander ahead.

I’m not the only one who sometimes says things I shouldn’t say and does things I shouldn’t do. It’s called sin, and Scripture clearly tells us that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23)

I’m not the only one who sometimes wrestles with priorities and suffers the physical, spiritual, and emotional consequences of an unbalanced life.

No, I’m not the only one. But there’s still not much consolation in that fact.

Here’s something different though: I am the only one who can moment by moment make the choice to surrender my will to that of the Father . . . to allow myself to just sit with Him awhile . . . to be still and know that He is God.

I’ve heard it said that the longer you live, the more you realize you don’t know. As I cross over into a new year, I will view it as a new beginning of sorts. But more than that, I will choose to view each day as a precious gift in which the God of the universe allows me to know Him more fully and share His message more freely with those who need to hear.

I’m not a cookie-cutter Christian. Instead I am hand-crafted by the Master, called according to His purposes, and fearfully and wonderfully made to bring glory to Him alone.

That, my friends, is what I want to do best in the year ahead — in whatever form it may take.

I pray God’s richest blessings on you in the new year. More than that, I pray that you will know how wide, how long, how high, and how deep is the love of Christ. (Eph. 3:18)