I have some friends and family members who are presently experiencing difficult days. While I won’t claim to have all the answers, I would like to offer four suggestions for helping those who are hurting:

1. Pray for them. Why is it that even for Christians prayer is often our last resort rather than our first response? I believe that prayer changes things, so I pray for my hurting friends, knowing that the God of the universe hears our cries and cares deeply for His children. I’ve found that praying for people is something easy to promise when asked — but just as easy to forget once I’m distracted by the busyness of life. Never underestimate the power of praying with your friends in their time of need. We bond with one another when we pray aloud together.

2. Be present with them. So many times we struggle to find the right words to say. Often that’s because there simply are no words. Nothing we can say will change the situation or alleviate the pain. Be willing to be present with your friends. When I minister to people who are gravely ill or to families who have just lost one to death, I’ve found that just being there is enough. In our busy society we’re prone to try and fix things. Just be present and available to listen or pray or cry. Your presence is an invaluable gift.

3. Allow them an opportunity to have a get-away. This one is not always possible for every situation, but there’s usually some way to pull it off. When emotional burdens drain your friends’ life and energy, offer to watch the kids . . . or take your friends for a drive in the country . . . or give them a gift card to the movies. Just a little time away — a change of pace — can provide a much-needed respite from the constant cares and stresses of life.

4. Take them a meal. No matter what is going on, at some point your friends have to eat. A nutritious, home-cooked meal — or even a restaurant gift card — can provide a practical help. Many Sunday School classes and ministry groups now use a handy, user-friendly website to coordinate meals for those in need. Click here to check it out.

In almost every situation, we can find some way to be helpful to those who are hurting. Just remember that if you’re not hurting now, you will be one day. Do something for others that you’d like to have done for you in your time of need.

“So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.” – Galatians 6:10

IT’S YOUR TURN!
What are some practical ways others have been helpful to you in times of need?

A Christian marriage is one of God’s greatest gifts. Things haven’t always been easy; in fact, we’ve had some real rough patches along the way. As those of you who are married can attest, it’s one thing to love someone — and another thing entirely to share space with them day after day.

Life has a funny way of throwing curve balls when you least expect them. Challenges arise. Difficulties come. Anxiety overtakes. Those are the times that test the bonds of marriage. Those are the times during which a cord of three strands is absolutely essential.

As I look back on the last fifteen years, a number of things stand out very clearly. Like all other married couples, we’ve experienced the highs and lows that come with the natural markings of life. It’s during the tough times that we’ve had to remember that marriage cannot be based on feelings, which ebb and flow and come and go.

Marriage must be rooted in love. And love is a choice . . . a decision . . . a commitment . . . a covenant before the God of the universe. What comes after this life is yet to be seen. For the present life, however, I have a quiet confidence that God in His grace joined our hearts and lives together and will continue to paint the tapestry of our marriage with a kaleidoscope of watercolors whose impressive array of patterns only He can see. We often get focused on one particular shade of color, but on occasion from a distant place, God allows us to catch a glimpse of the bigger picture.

Through marriage I’ve learned to trust more deeply, share more completely, and love more fully than I ever thought possible. And while our daily routine is filled with all the mundane things of any family — laundry, trash, menu planning, and such — it’s the daily routine that provides the fertile ground from which a deeper, richer, more fulfilling relationship can emerge.

On this day fifteen years ago, two very in-love individuals were joined together in holy matrimony. When we said ‘I do’ and exchanged rings and kisses, we set out on a wild adventure called marriage. Through the laughter and tears, heartaches and fears, one thing has kept us together: our commitment to love each other faithfully as long as we both shall live.

We did. We have. We will.

By His grace.

Michelle, you are one of God’s greatest gifts . . . and I can never thank Him enough.

I can honestly say that I love you today far more than I did back then. Thank you for loving me too.

Happy Anniversary.

One of my dad’s favorite Christmas songs is Elvis Presley’s “Blue Christmas.” For many this year, the holidays are proving especially challenging — even blue, as the case may be. I know a number of people who have lost loved ones and are spending their first Christmas without a spouse, a child, a mother, a father, a sibling, a grandparent, or a best friend. For those who are grieving a loss, Christmastime can actually exacerbate their feelings of sadness and loneliness. Many of these people will make a brave effort to carry on. They may have managed to haul out the decorations, put up the tree, and listen to some festive music, but it’s just not the same.

The very memories that comfort can also evoke a deeper pain. Little things the person never even thought about before are now right at the forefront of the mind. They run across an ornament that held special meaning for their loved one, and their eyes begin to water. They hear a silly Christmas song that used to drive their loved one crazy — or a sappy movie often shared together — yet somehow this year that memory just underscores the sense of loss. They cook — or are served — a favorite holiday food their loved one just couldn’t do without, and it just doesn’t taste the same. During times like this we often discover a profound truth: The things we thought we loved most were really only loved because of the ones we shared them with.

There are many firsts that are hard to handle:

• Finding that stocking and knowing it probably doesn’t need to be hung this year.
• Addressing Christmas cards, signed without the deceased family member’s name. (This exercise is ten times worse when the annual card or letter is the means by which news of the death must be shared with long-distance friends and acquaintances.)
• Realizing that this year is the first year — maybe ever — that cards and/or gifts will not be exchanged with that special person.

Of course, death is not the only thing that can sour the holiday season. There are many parents dealing with devastating illnesses — for themselves or one of their children. Every effort may be made to make this Christmas the best one ever. After all, the unspoken fear is that this might be the last one they’ll have together. And even with all the effort put forward, the reality is that neither party may have enough energy to actually enjoy it.

I’ve been reminded this year that life is so incredibly precious. I attended one funeral service last week in Mississippi — and had another this week that I really should have attended. Over the next couple days I’ll attend two more. I have several friends and family members fighting extremely uphill battles with cancer — and other friends who are sitting with their terminally ill children, already in hospice care. For them, twinkling Christmas lights just don’t matter much right now.

With just a week or so left before Christmas Day, let me offer a few thoughts. Perhaps you are one of those people I’ve described above. If so, don’t be too hard on yourself. Everyone grieves a little differently. Resist the urge to isolate yourself from the hustle and bustle around you. The sounds that seem so obnoxiously annoying this year will, in time, gain a new sense of significance that you’ll again appreciate. Joy can return to your hurting heart — and it will. Also, know that as silly as it might sound, a ‘scheduled cry time’ may take the edge off and allow you to be more engaged with those around you. You must find what works for you — and unfortunately that process is mainly trial-and-error.

If you’re someone who just stumbled upon this page and is thinking, “How depressing!”, then I congratulate you on your banner year — but remind you that we usually don’t know when we’ll transfer from joy-filled to grief-stricken. Tragedy is unpredictable, and loss is often unforeseen. Be sensitive to those in your life who are going through the holidays without someone they love. Jot them a note of encouragement, just to let them know you’re thinking about them and you care. Don’t worry, you won’t ‘remind’ them of their loss; they’re quite aware of it. It will mean more to them than you can possibly know to hear that someone remembers the hole in their heart.

In practicing grace, kindness, and generosity to those who are grieving, sad, burdened or downtrodden, you will embrace the very essence of what this season is all about. You can’t keep anyone from having a ‘blue Christmas,’ but you can help it be just a shade lighter. (See what one church in Tennessee is doing to minister to those who are hurting: Click Here)

IT’S YOUR TURN!

• Are you experiencing a blue Christmas this year? If so, what suggestions can you offer for how people can help you?
• Have you recently ministered to someone who is struggling this holiday season? How was your attempt at kindness received?

On that Tuesday morning I had been in my office at a residential children’s facility for about an hour when the phone rang. The voice on the other end belonged to my wife, Michelle . . . yet there was a timbre in her tone that instantly conveyed the message that all was not well. Immediately my thoughts rushed to my then eight-month-old son, Jackson, who was in the house with her. But before I could ask about him, Michelle interrupted and asked, “Have you seen the news?”

“No,” I replied, puzzled. I quickly clicked onto a news website and saw ‘BREAKING NEWS’ in bright red.

“A plane has crashed into the World Trade Center,” she said, her voice shaking. “It’s bad, Garrick.”

I quickly headed to the TV room to turn on the news. Of course, finding the news wouldn’t be a problem, since it seemed to be on every channel. Within a matter of minutes, I, along with the rest of the waiting world, would soon discover that this was no accident. When the second plane hit the South Tower at three minutes past the hour, I remember my heart just sinking. Those of us gathered around stood speechless, in total disbelief of what our eyes were telling our brains.

In those moments the world as we knew it changed forever. Freedom turned to fear and anxiety to agony as the full scope of this attack on America unfolded in what seemed like slow motion. Within the hour another plane hit the Pentagon in Arlington, Virginia. Reporters on the ground struggled to explain what was happening. They couldn’t quite wrap their minds around it all either.

By the time United Airlines Flight 93 crashed in a field near Shanksville, Pennsylvania, I remember thinking to myself, “When will it end? What’s next?!”

Of course, my job didn’t really afford me the luxury of becoming a shell-shocked couch potato, as much as I wanted to be just that. As the manager of that residential program, I was responsible for the emotional and physical well-being of a number of children, ranging in age from five to twelve years. As the houseparents received word that the schools were dismissing children, we all began to shift into survival mode. The kids would have questions. We all did. But the one thing none of us could afford to do was let the kids know we were upset.

I met quickly with our morning shift workers and discussed our action plan for dealing with the kids and their families. Above all, the plan involved channeling our adrenaline into positive thoughts and actions. Somehow on 9/11 the world seemed a whole lot smaller . . . a lot more connected . . . and a lot more caring.

As I went to the store that day, I couldn’t help but notice that every single person I encountered — from the customers in the parking lot to the cashier behind the register — was feeling much the same as me. I couldn’t wait to go to bed that night. I think something inside of me thought that maybe if I could just get to sleep, then when I woke up I’d realize that the chaos of that day had been nothing more than a bad dream. As I would find out on Wednesday morning, it was an absolute nightmare — a national one with far-reaching implications for every person on the planet: Evil is real, and there’s no way to escape its influence in our lives.

Now ten years later, I look back on 9/11 and feel things much the same that I felt on that very day. As I reflect on that dark time in our nation’s history, one thing stands out perhaps more than any other. In the few days following 9/11, people were nicer . . . friendlier . . . more grateful for the little things. In those times people turned to the church for comfort, for solace, and for answers to questions the world couldn’t seem to explain.

Like a person who suddenly lost a neighbor or friend, the whole country was made fully aware of the fragility of life, the uncertainty of tomorrow, the amazing lack of control we have over so many things. As we remember 9/11 and pray for those whose lives were irrevocably changed due to the evil plans of a few, wouldn’t it be great if we could somehow recapture that appreciation for life we all had once the fires were extinguished and the dust began to settle?

Perhaps the very best tribute we could offer on this day of remembrance would be to again hug our families tightly, do something kind for a neighbor, and thank God for the many blessings we each enjoy. The heroes who died bravely striving to save lives on that day wouldn’t want us to wallow in self-pity. They’d want us to fully embrace the wonder of this gift of life . . . to treasure each moment with family and friends . . . and to fight passionately to keep the freedom that still makes America a beacon of light today.

Surely we can muster the courage to do that. Surely.

IT’S YOUR TURN!
What 9/11 memories most stand out in your mind? What do you see as the enduring lessons from this page in our nation’s history?

Regret

Although we sometimes hear about a life lived ‘without regrets,’ we know there’s no such thing as that. We all have regrets that often coexist with feelings of shame, guilt, embarrassment, grief, and even anger — anger at oneself . . . anger at others . . . even anger at God. As Christians we are particularly prone to experience regret, especially over things said or done after our point of salvation — when we knew the right thing to do and intentionally chose to go in a different direction.

Regret can be a powerful force in our lives, distracting us from the reality of life in the present and taking us back to the past with retrospection and hindsight that amounts to chasing after the wind. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if life had an ‘undo’ button? Or at least a ‘reset’ button? Sometimes we experience regret from the time an ungracious word rolls off the tongue. Sometimes we listen not to the gentle spirit of God but rather to the lying and conniving voice of Satan who, as with Adam in Eve, craftily persuades us to tune out the potential consequences of our choices and simply live for the moment. The truth is that our society encourages and to some extent rewards hedonism. If you doubt it, just watch most any ‘reality TV’ show from ‘Big Brother’ to ‘The Bachelor,’ and you’ll see exactly what I mean.

People of all ages and life stages experience regret. Children and teenagers today live at the speed of light and are bombarded daily with multiple competing messages and worldviews. And I don’t just mean text messages. Think for a moment about the messages kids get from such things as billboards, commercials, photos, friends, parents, teachers, the internet, etc. We know that many of these messages point them not in the direction of life but rather in the direction of destruction. Many kids today are completely overwhelmed by the pressures and stressors of growing up too fast and being too isolated from the adults in their lives. Pair social isolation with an overdose of modern technology, and you get a climate that is practically devoid of extended times of peace and quiet during which we are most likely to hear and discern the voice of God. Unfortunately, a large number of these kids are merely following the haphazard examples of their way-too-busy parents. Faced with a complex and divergent set of messages and a hurried lifestyle, kids often find themselves making choices that they will regret for the rest of their lives.

As I look back on this calendar year, I regret to say that I too have regrets — not only for the things I said or did but also for the things I didn’t say or didn’t do that I know I should have. I regret the times when I failed to treat my wife and kids with kindness and respect. I regret the harsh words spoken in anger and frustration to those I love. I regret the times when I passed judgment on others with little thought about my own dirty laundry.

I regret not spending more time seeking God through prayer and Bible study. I regret the missed opportunities to spend time with others, to encourage those in despair, and to share the love of Christ with those who need to hear it. I regret many of the moments that I focused on myself rather than the needs of others. I regret things I ate, things I watched, things I read, things I listened to. More than anything in the world, I regret listening to the lies of Satan, spoken through a variety of mediums, that said simply, “Don’t worry about it. It’ll be fine. It’s a gray area. It doesn’t matter what you do.”

You see, one thing we can count on in life is the predictability of the evil one in his dealings with believers. He knows he cannot have us, but he sure can minimize our witness and our effectiveness as followers of Christ. Satan looks for our points of weakness, our emotional vulnerabilities, and our sins from the past — and he pounces like a lion waiting to devour us. But his pounces are often carefully masked as seemingly innocuous opportunities rather than potentially life-altering temptations. He taps into our shame and guilt and forces those things to the forefront of our minds, where we then turn our focus back to the past with its sorrow, shame, and regret. This is the cornerstone that enables a cycle of shame and guilt that can greatly hinder our ability to accept forgiveness from God and extend forgiveness to ourselves.

My challenge to you in this coming year is to remember that God is in the business of healing, restoring, and transforming lives. Through His Son, Jesus Christ, He gives us the opportunity to experience new life — abundant life here on earth and eternal life in heaven with Him. And even if you’ve done some pretty awful things that grieve you deeply, be assured that “if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.” (2 Cor. 5:17, NIV)

As you think through your own version of 2010, I challenge you to honestly acknowledge your sins and regrets to God. Ask his forgiveness for anything that may be unconfessed and is still weighing you down mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. Visualize yourself actually transferring those burdens into the capable hands of a gracious and merciful God. He sent us Jesus that we might experience freedom, yet so often we choose insecurity, doubt, and bondage. Perhaps there is someone from whom you need to ask forgiveness; that can be a freeing thing indeed.

God does not want us to live stuck in the miry pit of our past. He wants us to live with His power in the present, with an eye on the future in anticipation of the return of Jesus Christ. I’m reminded of the lyrics of an old song that speaks poignantly of God’s faithfulness and power:

There is no problem too big God cannot solve it.
There is no mountain too tall He cannot move it.
There is no storm too dark God cannot calm it.
There is no sorrow too deep He cannot soothe it.

If He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders,
I know, my brother that He will carry You.

As you look forward to the new year, you can be sure that you’ll generate new regrets. It happens. We’re human. But bear in mind that His grace is sufficient for those who believe. Another song puts it this way: “I know many times I’ve been out of His will, but I’ve never been out of His care.” I don’t really know if that line passes the sniff test of the world’s great theologians, but I know those words have spoken to my own heart through the years. Be assured that God has a purpose and plan for each one of us. I don’t know what that looks like for you, but I know that it includes the freedom and peace that comes when we discover new life in Christ — and daily seek counsel from His Word. Perhaps you can use a fresh start in some area of life. Be encouraged by these words from the apostle Paul:

Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” – Phil. 3:13b-14, NIV

I won’t wish you a year without regrets, but I will wish you a year of good health, personal growth, and Christ-based freedom. May 2011 be a banner year for you, a year in which you focus more closely on the things that matter most. May the love and joy of the Lord richly abound in you and flow through you in the year to come.

Perhaps you’re here for the first time and curious about this ‘new life’ that comes through Jesus Christ. Feel free to contact me, and I’ll be glad to visit with you.

IT’S YOUR TURN!
Assuming that you take some time to reflect on the past year and think forward to the new year, what does that process look like for you? (i.e., journaling, discussing with a friend, etc.) Do you need to confess and seek forgiveness from God? From others? Do you have someone to hold you accountable for any personal goals that you set?

As a child I was afraid of the usual things: the dark . . . the shadows in the night . . . the monsters under the bed. It seems kind of silly now, but those were really things that could make my hair stand on end. As an adult, I’ve found that fear never really goes away; rather, we tend to transfer it to other situations. I’m still afraid of heights to some extent. And I hate roller coasters. I don’t particularly like to fly either, although the latter two examples are probably more rooted in the loss of control experienced.

However, some of you know that in recent years I have learned what it is to suffer the effects of anxiety in my own life. For many years I counseled individuals with regard to anxiety and phobias, but it was not until I experienced it for myself that I could truly empathize. The heart palpitations. The profuse sweating. The overwhelming sense of impending doom. Not fun at all!

Truly there are so many things in today’s world that give way to some legitimate anxiety. Our 24-hour news stream sounds a lot like Matthew 24, does it not? Wars and rumors of wars. Earthquakes. Famines. And on and on and on.

During the recent AACC conference, Dr. Ken Nichols of ALIVE Ministries presented a talk on the subject of fear. He pointed out that the message we receive from the media is clear: “Be afraid. Be very afraid!” And even if you think the sky isn’t falling, realize that it will. Just keep watching, it will!

In my own life I find that my anxiety level is directly related to the amount of news and information I allow to come into my mind. The reality is that all of us would do well to limit our intake of negativity — and let’s face it: that means shutting off a good chunk of the news. The late ABC newsman Peter Jennings was once asked why the news coverage seemed so overwhelmingly tipped in favor of bad news. In his suave Canadian accent, he quickly offered what I found to be a most candid and thought-provoking reply: “We must report on the planes that crash — not the ones that land safely.”

Nichols in his talk on Friday pointed out several facts about fear that I believe bear repeating in this space:

• Fear is absolutely unavoidable.
• Fear is a normal part of our everyday life.
• Fear is not sin.
• Fear is always temporary.
• Fear can be a healthy source of motivation.
• Fear is used by God to grow us in our faith.
• Fear is used by Satan to defeat us.

Nichols says that the major challenge for believers is to learn “how to transform fear into faith.” He says that when we really dig into Scripture we can face our storms of life with an eternal perspective. Nichols writes, “We can experience calm not confusion; poise not panic; relaxed not restless; composed not controlled; peace not pain; faith not fear.”

Nichols says there is a direct relationship between fear and faith:

That is why there are hundreds of reminders of the need to be strong, take courage, stand fast, and don’t be afraid. I believe that God ordains fearful circumstances in life as an excellent opportunity to cultivate a deeper quality of faith. Our human experience is not fear or faith . . . it is fear and faith.”

When you get right down to it, there are three primary areas from which most of our fears radiate:

1. The Unknown
2. The Unexpected
3. The Unbearable

I don’t know about you, but I have some things even this week that could really drive me toward anxiety and fear. To be honest, since that’s the way I naturally seem to gravitate, I have to work extra hard to make sure I’m grounding myself in the promises of God’s Word. I’m incredibly blessed to have a team of prayer warriors who lift me up daily. These are men and women I trust with details that I simply can’t make available to just everyone. In times of weakness, I find strength in the care, concern, and prayers of others.

Perhaps you’re going through something right now that has you anxious and afraid. If so, let God help you make the transition from fear to faith. If you’ve never come to a place in your life where you reached out to Him, then you can do that right now — no matter where you are or what you’re facing. Discover new life today. And find the peace that only He can give to see you through the inevitable storms of life.

IT’S YOUR TURN!
In which areas of life do you experience the most fear or anxiety? How do you cope with that?

While I’m tempted to write about my own such story in this space, today I’ll seek to answer a different and perhaps more important question: “Where are you now?” And I don’t mean physically or geographically.

Today I’m more of a lot of things.

I’m a more observant person . . . much more sensitive to issues of safety and security. I’m also far less likely to think, “Oh, that (whatever that may be) couldn’t happen here.” It did once. It can again.

I’m a more grateful person . . . much more aware of the people who help keep me and my family safe on a daily basis. The 9-1-1 dispatchers, the police officers, the firefighters, the paramedics, the troopers, etc. Like the sashing of a quilt, these men and women provide an invaluable and often overlooked framework for our communities. I’m also more grateful for those who boldly serve in our military — defending our freedom and seeking to provide stability to nations abroad.

I’m a more humble person . . . much more understanding that there are very few things in life over which I have control. God has the whole world in His hands, just as the childhood song explains.

I’m a more driven person . . . much more appreciative of the urgency of this life. Every moment counts. Every relationship matters.

I’m a more compassionate person . . . much more able to experience the thoughts, stories, and situations of others — even those with whom I strongly disagree.

I’m a more expressive person . . . much more willing to say, ‘I love you,’ ‘I’m sorry,’ ‘Will you forgive me?’ Perhaps this dovetails with that sense of urgency I mentioned earlier.

I’m a more informed person . . . much more able to identify particularly with those who were in New York City at the time of the attacks on the World Trade Center. There’s nothing like seeing the vast barrenness of Ground Zero with your own eyes, as I did early last year. And to think that two huge towers once stood there, tall and proud, each an integral party of the city’s skyline.

Today I’m also less of a lot of things.

I’m less bothered by those airport security procedures. They’re far from perfect, but hopefully they are helping keep us safe.

I’m less tolerant of those who are bothered by my own patriotism. If you don’t like our country, then feel free to find a new one. And by all means, don’t waste your time trying to ‘radically transform’ mine.

I’m less concerned with people’s reactions to my emotions. Sometimes I’m sad. Sometimes I cry. It’s all a normal part of the human experience.

I’m less trusting of our news media and our government. There seems to me an amazing disconnect between those covering the news and those experiencing it . . . between those making laws and those who are stuck living with them.

I’m less committed to a particular political party and more devoted to the specific values I hold dear.

I’m less convinced that my children’s lifestyle will be better than my own — and more accepting of the notion that perhaps it doesn’t need to be.

I’m less passionate about advancing my individual goals and more mindful of my role in advancing God’s Kingdom. I’m also even more confident of His loving care, sovereign hand, and constant companionship in these uncertain days.

Yes, things are definitely different than they were nine years ago. Some of these differences are probably due to the natural process of aging and maturity; some of them are no doubt due to the previously unimaginable events of September 11, 2001.

Each of us processes things uniquely. We all draw our own conclusions, nurture our own beliefs, and devise our own coping strategies.

One thing though is true for all of us: We will never be the same.

IT’S YOUR TURN!
What’s different for you nine years later? How have you changed?

I have counseled countless individuals through the years who have suffered unimaginable abuse at the hands of friends and family members — people they should have been able to trust. While Christ’s example of forgiveness establishes the pattern for our own lives, there are many things that are quite outside the realm of our influence and control. Chief among them is the fact that while God is able to forget as far as east is from west, He has designed our brains to remember. And that design is partly for our own protection. Another factor beyond our control is the capacity to somehow undo damage that has been done.

I submit that it is entirely possible to forgive someone (that is, to set the offense aside and hold them responsible no more) without restoring the relationship to its prior level of trust and intimacy. Forgiveness, after all, is really not about the other person; it’s about the one who was offended. It is ultimately a gift we give ourselves — the freedom to move on in light of the new reality of life with a scar of some sort to help us remember the risks associated with human relationships.

I would go a step further and say that there are certain situations in which forgiveness and relationship restoration are simply incompatible goals. As parents, for example, we are charged with the safety and protection of our children — physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Some offenses cut so deep that any fantasy of a three-strike rule for the offender must be immediately abandoned. To do anything else would be foolish, stupid, and wholly irresponsible.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Many offenders are masters of deception, smooth talkers, and incredible manipulators of truth. They will say and do absolutely anything to again exert their power and convince others that any natural consequences of their sin are unfair, unjust, and unwarranted.

I wish more than anything that these things were not true. I wish that the building blocks of life, once broken, could always be used to restore every relationship to its highest level of previous functioning. The truth is that fairy-tale endings are reserved for the movies, where a team of highly skilled writers, producers, and actors work together for hours on end to achieve an optimal outcome. The problem is that no relationship is perfect. No person is without sin. And no offense is too great to receive forgiveness.

Scripture says that so far as it depends on us, we are to be at peace with others. Sadly, that sometimes means forgiveness without restoration or reconciliation . . . a far cry from that fairy-tale ending our hearts yearn to experience and our souls long to see.

Forgiveness for most is a process, not a one-time action. With practice we hopefully learn to do it better with time. In the meantime we must accept its limitations just as we accept its liberty to move on.

Interact with Us!
What are your thoughts on forgiveness? Have you ever experienced a situation in which relationship restoration was not possible?

Just this week alone I’ve found myself in the path of a wide variety of people — people in my office, people on the street, people many states away via phone or internet — people who are . . .

. . . questioning the existence of God

. . . struggling to know He cares

. . . dealing with the reality of death

. . . grieving a complicated loss

. . . seeking to connect with God

. . . processing impending unemployment

. . . celebrating a newborn baby

. . . asking tough questions of God

. . . working to save their marriage

. . . dealing with rebellious kids

. . . contemplating the purpose of life

. . . hoping for the best

. . . expecting the worst

Sometimes there are no words.

Sometimes there are no actions needed.

Sometimes the tears just come. And I realize that no words are required. Only love. Only compassion. Only tenderness.

It’s at those times that God takes over, and I sense His Holy Spirit at work in me and around me.

And I know that He is good . . . faithful . . . completely in control.

And I remember that He is love.

And that His grace is enough for me . . . just as it is for you.

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who controls our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will. — Romans 8:26-27

INTERACT WITH US
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Men do it. Women do it. Children do it.

Even in the presence of good company, worry can leave you feeling restless and alone.

It has been said many times that most of the things we worry about never happen. And that may be true. But those of us who struggle with worry somehow feel a sick sense of control over those things that often top our ‘worry’ lists. Things like health, finances, relationships, death, war, intergallactic collisions. See? It’s just the little things that keep us up nights.

In His teaching on worry, Jesus said this:

This is why I tell you: Don’t worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Isn’t life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the sky: they don’t sow or reap or gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you worth more than they? – Matthew 6:25-26 (HCSB)

Paul, in writing to the church at Philippi, said:

Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:6-7 (HCSB)

That wonderfully devoted missionary, Corrie Ten Boom, not only influenced the lives of those with whom she shared Christ personally, but even in her death, her words come alongside believers today, reminding us of the importance of simplicity in the Christian life. Her common-sense approach to worry puts it in an everyday framework: “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.”

Whatever it is that concerns you most today, lay it down at the feet of Jesus. Place it in the hands of the One who already knows the anxious state of your heart and feels compassion for the burdens you bear. Spend some time thanking God today for His loving care. And whatever you do, don’t let the worries of your tomorrow ruin the quality of your today.

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