Regret. The very word brings to mind sorrow over sin, poor choices, and unwise decisions. And I’m not just talking about that crazy-looking shirt you wore to a wedding or that second slice of Aunt Maggie’s outrageously tasty apple pie. I’m talking about things that can have long-standing impact on ourselves and others.
Although we sometimes hear about a life lived ‘without regrets,’ we know there’s no such thing as that. We all have regrets that often coexist with feelings of shame, guilt, embarrassment, grief, and even anger — anger at oneself . . . anger at others . . . even anger at God. As Christians we are particularly prone to experience regret, especially over things said or done after our point of salvation — when we knew the right thing to do and intentionally chose to go in a different direction.
Regret can be a powerful force in our lives, distracting us from the reality of life in the present and taking us back to the past with retrospection and hindsight that amounts to chasing after the wind. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if life had an ‘undo’ button? Or at least a ‘reset’ button? Sometimes we experience regret from the time an ungracious word rolls off the tongue. Sometimes we listen not to the gentle spirit of God but rather to the lying and conniving voice of Satan who, as with Adam in Eve, craftily persuades us to tune out the potential consequences of our choices and simply live for the moment. The truth is that our society encourages and to some extent rewards hedonism. If you doubt it, just watch most any ‘reality TV’ show from ‘Big Brother’ to ‘The Bachelor,’ and you’ll see exactly what I mean.
People of all ages and life stages experience regret. Children and teenagers today live at the speed of light and are bombarded daily with multiple competing messages and worldviews. And I don’t just mean text messages. Think for a moment about the messages kids get from such things as billboards, commercials, photos, friends, parents, teachers, the internet, etc. We know that many of these messages point them not in the direction of life but rather in the direction of destruction. Many kids today are completely overwhelmed by the pressures and stressors of growing up too fast and being too isolated from the adults in their lives. Pair social isolation with an overdose of modern technology, and you get a climate that is practically devoid of extended times of peace and quiet during which we are most likely to hear and discern the voice of God. Unfortunately, a large number of these kids are merely following the haphazard examples of their way-too-busy parents. Faced with a complex and divergent set of messages and a hurried lifestyle, kids often find themselves making choices that they will regret for the rest of their lives.
As I look back on this calendar year, I regret to say that I too have regrets — not only for the things I said or did but also for the things I didn’t say or didn’t do that I know I should have. I regret the times when I failed to treat my wife and kids with kindness and respect. I regret the harsh words spoken in anger and frustration to those I love. I regret the times when I passed judgment on others with little thought about my own dirty laundry. Continue Reading…
