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Fifteen years ago today I watched my best friend walk down a church aisle. She stood beside me, held my hand, and we repeated our vows in front of God and many friends and family members.

A Christian marriage is one of God’s greatest gifts. Things haven’t always been easy; in fact, we’ve had some real rough patches along the way. As those of you who are married can attest, it’s one thing to love someone — and another thing entirely to share space with them day after day.

Life has a funny way of throwing curve balls when you least expect them. Challenges arise. Difficulties come. Anxiety overtakes. Those are the times that test the bonds of marriage. Those are the times during which a cord of three strands is absolutely essential.

As I look back on the last fifteen years, a number of things stand out very clearly. Like all other married couples, we’ve experienced the highs and lows that come with the natural markings of life. It’s during the tough times that we’ve had to remember that marriage cannot be based on feelings, which ebb and flow and come and go.

Marriage must be rooted in love. And love is a choice . . . a decision . . . a commitment . . . a covenant before the God of the universe. What comes after this life is yet to be seen. For the present life, however, I have a quiet confidence that God in His grace joined our hearts and lives together and will continue to paint the tapestry of our marriage with a kaleidoscope of watercolors whose impressive array of patterns only He can see. We often get focused on one particular shade of color, but on occasion from a distant place, God allows us to catch a glimpse of the bigger picture.

Through marriage I’ve learned to trust more deeply, share more completely, and love more fully than I ever thought possible. And while our daily routine is filled with all the mundane things of any family — laundry, trash, menu planning, and such — it’s the daily routine that provides the fertile ground from which a deeper, richer, more fulfilling relationship can emerge.

On this day fifteen years ago, two very in-love individuals were joined together in holy matrimony. When we said ‘I do’ and exchanged rings and kisses, we set out on a wild adventure called marriage. Through the laughter and tears, heartaches and fears, one thing has kept us together: our commitment to love each other faithfully as long as we both shall live.

We did. We have. We will.

By His grace.

Michelle, you are one of God’s greatest gifts . . . and I can never thank Him enough.

I can honestly say that I love you today far more than I did back then. Thank you for loving me too.

Happy Anniversary.

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Every now and then I find myself struggling with discouragement. I suppose that’s true for most people. Sometimes these times of discouragement seem to come out of nowhere. Other times they’re due to the emotional drain of a flopped project, a soured relationship, or simply a realization of how truly human I am in a world where human often seems not good enough.

Ministry leaders are particularly prone to discouragement due to the intense demands on their time and families as well as the extremely relational nature of the work. The truth is that most of us really do want to please people, but there’s absolutely no way to please all the people all the time.

It’s on these down days that my affirmation file comes in very handy. I keep this tattered file in one of my desk drawers. It has made a number of moves through the years as I’ve followed God to different places along my ministry journey. The label on the tab says simply ‘Affirmation/Encouragement,’ and it’s filled with cards, letters, and notes of appreciation from various people I’ve met along the way. Over the past few years, an increasing percentage of these items are in the form of email and Facebook print-outs. Most of the notes are from people I know pretty well, although some are from those with whom my life intersected only briefly as I led a workshop, officiated a funeral,  or ministered in some other way.

I’ve kept a file like this for as long as I can remember, and I strongly recommend that you keep one too — for several key reasons: Continue Reading…