Ministry leaders are particularly prone to discouragement due to the intense demands on their time and families as well as the extremely relational nature of the work. The truth is that most of us really do want to please people, but there’s absolutely no way to please all the people all the time.

It’s on these down days that my affirmation file comes in very handy. I keep this tattered file in one of my desk drawers. It has made a number of moves through the years as I’ve followed God to different places along my ministry journey. The label on the tab says simply ‘Affirmation/Encouragement,’ and it’s filled with cards, letters, and notes of appreciation from various people I’ve met along the way. Over the past few years, an increasing percentage of these items are in the form of email and Facebook print-outs. Most of the notes are from people I know pretty well, although some are from those with whom my life intersected only briefly as I led a workshop, officiated a funeral,  or ministered in some other way.

I’ve kept a file like this for as long as I can remember, and I strongly recommend that you keep one too — for several key reasons:

1. You need reminders of the really good moments in your life. One of the enemy’s greatest and most effective tools is that of discouragement. Written words have value long after the ink dries. When discouragement comes I essentially have two choices: I can wallow in self-pity (which accomplishes nothing helpful), or I can focus on my blessings, strengths, and past accomplishments. I like to think that the apostle Paul might have kept an affirmation file too. Writing to the Philippians, he said:

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. – Philippians 4:8, ESV

Paul is often described as a sort of spiritual superhero who, like Superman, underwent an almost instantaneous transformation when he encountered Jesus on the road to Damascus. Clearly, as one who had a legacy of persecuting believers, Paul could have focused on his past sins and selfish actions. Instead he made the choice to channel his energies into being different and doing good things, all for the sake of the gospel message.

2. You need perspective in times of self-doubt. We often go through seasons of life in which our struggles seem never-ending. Re-reading the materials in my affirmation file helps me remember that God uses me to make a difference in the lives of others, even at times when I’m totally unaware of my influence. I find that I am my own worst critic, and the notes in my file remind me that plenty of people are with me, for me, and behind me — encouraging me to finish strong in this marathon of life.

3. You need “strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow.” Those are words from one of my favorite hymns, “Great is Thy Faithfulness.” I draw a lot of strength from the power of God’s Word. So many of the items in my affirmation file contain a Scripture verse that is just what I need to hear in days of trial. Many of those verses are near and dear to my heart. They are constant reminders that God’s Word never returns void.

An added benefit of keeping an affirmation file is its intrinsic ability to help me practice gratitude to others. A hand-written note or other expression of encouragement can absolutely speak life into someone’s day.

May you find joy and encouragement as you live and lead, and may you find joy as you affirm others along life’s path.

IT’S YOUR TURN!
Do you keep an affirmation file? How are you impacted by a written expression of gratitude?

Regret

Although we sometimes hear about a life lived ‘without regrets,’ we know there’s no such thing as that. We all have regrets that often coexist with feelings of shame, guilt, embarrassment, grief, and even anger — anger at oneself . . . anger at others . . . even anger at God. As Christians we are particularly prone to experience regret, especially over things said or done after our point of salvation — when we knew the right thing to do and intentionally chose to go in a different direction.

Regret can be a powerful force in our lives, distracting us from the reality of life in the present and taking us back to the past with retrospection and hindsight that amounts to chasing after the wind. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if life had an ‘undo’ button? Or at least a ‘reset’ button? Sometimes we experience regret from the time an ungracious word rolls off the tongue. Sometimes we listen not to the gentle spirit of God but rather to the lying and conniving voice of Satan who, as with Adam in Eve, craftily persuades us to tune out the potential consequences of our choices and simply live for the moment. The truth is that our society encourages and to some extent rewards hedonism. If you doubt it, just watch most any ‘reality TV’ show from ‘Big Brother’ to ‘The Bachelor,’ and you’ll see exactly what I mean.

People of all ages and life stages experience regret. Children and teenagers today live at the speed of light and are bombarded daily with multiple competing messages and worldviews. And I don’t just mean text messages. Think for a moment about the messages kids get from such things as billboards, commercials, photos, friends, parents, teachers, the internet, etc. We know that many of these messages point them not in the direction of life but rather in the direction of destruction. Many kids today are completely overwhelmed by the pressures and stressors of growing up too fast and being too isolated from the adults in their lives. Pair social isolation with an overdose of modern technology, and you get a climate that is practically devoid of extended times of peace and quiet during which we are most likely to hear and discern the voice of God. Unfortunately, a large number of these kids are merely following the haphazard examples of their way-too-busy parents. Faced with a complex and divergent set of messages and a hurried lifestyle, kids often find themselves making choices that they will regret for the rest of their lives.

As I look back on this calendar year, I regret to say that I too have regrets — not only for the things I said or did but also for the things I didn’t say or didn’t do that I know I should have. I regret the times when I failed to treat my wife and kids with kindness and respect. I regret the harsh words spoken in anger and frustration to those I love. I regret the times when I passed judgment on others with little thought about my own dirty laundry.

I regret not spending more time seeking God through prayer and Bible study. I regret the missed opportunities to spend time with others, to encourage those in despair, and to share the love of Christ with those who need to hear it. I regret many of the moments that I focused on myself rather than the needs of others. I regret things I ate, things I watched, things I read, things I listened to. More than anything in the world, I regret listening to the lies of Satan, spoken through a variety of mediums, that said simply, “Don’t worry about it. It’ll be fine. It’s a gray area. It doesn’t matter what you do.”

You see, one thing we can count on in life is the predictability of the evil one in his dealings with believers. He knows he cannot have us, but he sure can minimize our witness and our effectiveness as followers of Christ. Satan looks for our points of weakness, our emotional vulnerabilities, and our sins from the past — and he pounces like a lion waiting to devour us. But his pounces are often carefully masked as seemingly innocuous opportunities rather than potentially life-altering temptations. He taps into our shame and guilt and forces those things to the forefront of our minds, where we then turn our focus back to the past with its sorrow, shame, and regret. This is the cornerstone that enables a cycle of shame and guilt that can greatly hinder our ability to accept forgiveness from God and extend forgiveness to ourselves.

My challenge to you in this coming year is to remember that God is in the business of healing, restoring, and transforming lives. Through His Son, Jesus Christ, He gives us the opportunity to experience new life — abundant life here on earth and eternal life in heaven with Him. And even if you’ve done some pretty awful things that grieve you deeply, be assured that “if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.” (2 Cor. 5:17, NIV)

As you think through your own version of 2010, I challenge you to honestly acknowledge your sins and regrets to God. Ask his forgiveness for anything that may be unconfessed and is still weighing you down mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. Visualize yourself actually transferring those burdens into the capable hands of a gracious and merciful God. He sent us Jesus that we might experience freedom, yet so often we choose insecurity, doubt, and bondage. Perhaps there is someone from whom you need to ask forgiveness; that can be a freeing thing indeed.

God does not want us to live stuck in the miry pit of our past. He wants us to live with His power in the present, with an eye on the future in anticipation of the return of Jesus Christ. I’m reminded of the lyrics of an old song that speaks poignantly of God’s faithfulness and power:

There is no problem too big God cannot solve it.
There is no mountain too tall He cannot move it.
There is no storm too dark God cannot calm it.
There is no sorrow too deep He cannot soothe it.

If He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders,
I know, my brother that He will carry You.

As you look forward to the new year, you can be sure that you’ll generate new regrets. It happens. We’re human. But bear in mind that His grace is sufficient for those who believe. Another song puts it this way: “I know many times I’ve been out of His will, but I’ve never been out of His care.” I don’t really know if that line passes the sniff test of the world’s great theologians, but I know those words have spoken to my own heart through the years. Be assured that God has a purpose and plan for each one of us. I don’t know what that looks like for you, but I know that it includes the freedom and peace that comes when we discover new life in Christ — and daily seek counsel from His Word. Perhaps you can use a fresh start in some area of life. Be encouraged by these words from the apostle Paul:

Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” – Phil. 3:13b-14, NIV

I won’t wish you a year without regrets, but I will wish you a year of good health, personal growth, and Christ-based freedom. May 2011 be a banner year for you, a year in which you focus more closely on the things that matter most. May the love and joy of the Lord richly abound in you and flow through you in the year to come.

Perhaps you’re here for the first time and curious about this ‘new life’ that comes through Jesus Christ. Feel free to contact me, and I’ll be glad to visit with you.

IT’S YOUR TURN!
Assuming that you take some time to reflect on the past year and think forward to the new year, what does that process look like for you? (i.e., journaling, discussing with a friend, etc.) Do you need to confess and seek forgiveness from God? From others? Do you have someone to hold you accountable for any personal goals that you set?

As a child I was afraid of the usual things: the dark . . . the shadows in the night . . . the monsters under the bed. It seems kind of silly now, but those were really things that could make my hair stand on end. As an adult, I’ve found that fear never really goes away; rather, we tend to transfer it to other situations. I’m still afraid of heights to some extent. And I hate roller coasters. I don’t particularly like to fly either, although the latter two examples are probably more rooted in the loss of control experienced.

However, some of you know that in recent years I have learned what it is to suffer the effects of anxiety in my own life. For many years I counseled individuals with regard to anxiety and phobias, but it was not until I experienced it for myself that I could truly empathize. The heart palpitations. The profuse sweating. The overwhelming sense of impending doom. Not fun at all!

Truly there are so many things in today’s world that give way to some legitimate anxiety. Our 24-hour news stream sounds a lot like Matthew 24, does it not? Wars and rumors of wars. Earthquakes. Famines. And on and on and on.

During the recent AACC conference, Dr. Ken Nichols of ALIVE Ministries presented a talk on the subject of fear. He pointed out that the message we receive from the media is clear: “Be afraid. Be very afraid!” And even if you think the sky isn’t falling, realize that it will. Just keep watching, it will!

In my own life I find that my anxiety level is directly related to the amount of news and information I allow to come into my mind. The reality is that all of us would do well to limit our intake of negativity — and let’s face it: that means shutting off a good chunk of the news. The late ABC newsman Peter Jennings was once asked why the news coverage seemed so overwhelmingly tipped in favor of bad news. In his suave Canadian accent, he quickly offered what I found to be a most candid and thought-provoking reply: “We must report on the planes that crash — not the ones that land safely.”

Nichols in his talk on Friday pointed out several facts about fear that I believe bear repeating in this space:

• Fear is absolutely unavoidable.
• Fear is a normal part of our everyday life.
• Fear is not sin.
• Fear is always temporary.
• Fear can be a healthy source of motivation.
• Fear is used by God to grow us in our faith.
• Fear is used by Satan to defeat us.

Nichols says that the major challenge for believers is to learn “how to transform fear into faith.” He says that when we really dig into Scripture we can face our storms of life with an eternal perspective. Nichols writes, “We can experience calm not confusion; poise not panic; relaxed not restless; composed not controlled; peace not pain; faith not fear.”

Nichols says there is a direct relationship between fear and faith:

That is why there are hundreds of reminders of the need to be strong, take courage, stand fast, and don’t be afraid. I believe that God ordains fearful circumstances in life as an excellent opportunity to cultivate a deeper quality of faith. Our human experience is not fear or faith . . . it is fear and faith.”

When you get right down to it, there are three primary areas from which most of our fears radiate:

1. The Unknown
2. The Unexpected
3. The Unbearable

I don’t know about you, but I have some things even this week that could really drive me toward anxiety and fear. To be honest, since that’s the way I naturally seem to gravitate, I have to work extra hard to make sure I’m grounding myself in the promises of God’s Word. I’m incredibly blessed to have a team of prayer warriors who lift me up daily. These are men and women I trust with details that I simply can’t make available to just everyone. In times of weakness, I find strength in the care, concern, and prayers of others.

Perhaps you’re going through something right now that has you anxious and afraid. If so, let God help you make the transition from fear to faith. If you’ve never come to a place in your life where you reached out to Him, then you can do that right now — no matter where you are or what you’re facing. Discover new life today. And find the peace that only He can give to see you through the inevitable storms of life.

IT’S YOUR TURN!
In which areas of life do you experience the most fear or anxiety? How do you cope with that?

Men do it. Women do it. Children do it.

Even in the presence of good company, worry can leave you feeling restless and alone.

It has been said many times that most of the things we worry about never happen. And that may be true. But those of us who struggle with worry somehow feel a sick sense of control over those things that often top our ‘worry’ lists. Things like health, finances, relationships, death, war, intergallactic collisions. See? It’s just the little things that keep us up nights.

In His teaching on worry, Jesus said this:

This is why I tell you: Don’t worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Isn’t life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the sky: they don’t sow or reap or gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you worth more than they? – Matthew 6:25-26 (HCSB)

Paul, in writing to the church at Philippi, said:

Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:6-7 (HCSB)

That wonderfully devoted missionary, Corrie Ten Boom, not only influenced the lives of those with whom she shared Christ personally, but even in her death, her words come alongside believers today, reminding us of the importance of simplicity in the Christian life. Her common-sense approach to worry puts it in an everyday framework: “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.”

Whatever it is that concerns you most today, lay it down at the feet of Jesus. Place it in the hands of the One who already knows the anxious state of your heart and feels compassion for the burdens you bear. Spend some time thanking God today for His loving care. And whatever you do, don’t let the worries of your tomorrow ruin the quality of your today.

INTERACT WITH US
Join the conversation on our Facebook page
What things cause you the most worry/anxiety? How do you handle those concerns?

However, the reality is that most people experience real life in their relationship with their mother — a mixed bag of happy memories, sincere regrets, angry outbursts, complicated misunderstandings, periods of silence and so on.

Perhaps that’s why card shops like Hallmark, after so many years in business, still seem to struggle to produce just the right card for many well-intentioned shoppers. With Mother’s Day card categories like “Mom, You’re the Best,” “Across the Miles,” “Warm and Respectful,” “Humorous,” and “Simply Stated,” you’d think there could be just the right card somewhere in that long aisle.

However, year after year I have observed many fellow shoppers struggling to find that perfect card, and I’ve listened with interest to their under-the-breath grumbling as they frantically search for that seemingly elusive card.

“Too mushy.”

“She wasn’t religious.”

“No emotion at all in that one.”

“She’s my mother — not my wife.”

The truth is that only you can best articulate your thoughts and feelings about your Mom. And if you’re fortunate enough to still have a living mother with whom you actually communicate positively, then it is your words she wants to hear — not those of some professional card writer.

Mother’s Day is in many ways a day set aside each year to honor mothers, to shame children, to stigmatize the childless, and to provide retailers with a springtime sales bounce.

This year I hope you will mark this day however it best fits your own situation. Don’t let the movies, the commercials, the sappy stories, or even the preacher’s message dictate the way you acknowledge the day — or the way you decide not to acknowledge it.

Relationships are difficult. Life is messy. Not everyone has a reason to celebrate — or even to remember fondly.

I’m one of the lucky ones, I suppose. I plan to spend a few minutes visiting by phone with my mother, who has blessed my life in innumerable ways. I’ll treat my wife and mother of my children (along with the children themselves) to a nice Mother’s Day brunch. And if I know me well, I’ll end up feeling guilty for not being able to spend some actual time with my mom — and guilty for creating work for those moms who had to cook and serve my family. It’s true what they say: life isn’t fair.

I also plan to do a few other things on this day:

• I plan to send warm thoughts to those whose mothers have died in the last year, particularly young children.
• I will pray for those I know who want so badly to be parents but have found that dream impossible, at least to this point.
• I will offer some special prayers for those who opted to abort their ‘fetus’ — and never feel the warmth and pride of seeing that it actually was a baby human with feelings, with life, with a soul.
• I will pray especially that more of those who don’t want to be parents, for whatever reason, will be willing to give life to their child — and a treasured opportunity to those who do want to raise a child.
• I will think of those mothers whose children are risking their lives in military service that we might enjoy freedom.
• I will think of those whose mothers are behind bars.
• I will think of courageous single moms who are working multiple jobs in order to provide for their children — often without any special acknowledgement even on days like this.
• I will think of those people who are dealing with their mother’s serious physical or mental illness or chemical dependency.
• I will think of those moms of children with special needs. The ones I know demonstrate extraordinary strength and resilience in the face of persistent challenges.

If you find yourself fitting fairly snugly into one of those categories, then I pray God’s special blessings on you today. I hope you’ll feel some comfort knowing that there are millions of you in this great big world; not everybody gets to be ‘normal’ or ‘traditional.’

If you are reading this and classify yourself as one of the ‘normal’ folks for whom Mother’s Day presents no emotional ambivalence, no baggage, and no special issues, then count yourself blessed — and spend some time thinking and praying for someone who is struggling today. I have no doubt that you can think of at least one such individual.

However you choose to spend this day, I pray that you’ll be able to see the hand of God at work in your life on this second Sunday in May.

After a routine doctor’s appointment on Monday revealed an abnormality in my chest, the doctor scheduled an ultrasound to rule out breast cancer. Of course, you can imagine my surprise when the nurse told me that the office radiology lab would be unable to handle that task. Instead she referred me to the Baptist Breast Center.

Now I don’t know about you, but in my opinion, the words ‘Baptist’ and ‘Breast’ should never go together . . . it just begs me to go there – ‘Methodist Breast,’ ‘Catholic Breast,’ etc.

Never mind the fact that when we moved to the Little Rock area, my family and I joked that the Baptist Breast Center was actually a Baptists-run chicken strip drive-through restaurant. I know, sad, isn’t it? But I digress.

Back to my story.

Well, I met one of our Sunday School teachers for lunch today and then headed down to that place for my little test to be done. Upon arriving at the clinic, three different female employees looked at me like I was lost and needed directions. When I assured them that I was at the right place (no matter how wrong it might have felt), I checked in and filled out all the necessary paperwork.

As my eyes glanced bashfully at the various women with whom I shared a waiting room, a scrub-clad assistant came through the door and seemed to scream, “GARRICK CONNER?” I got up from my chair, walked briskly to the door, and asked her, “Was it really that hard to tell?” The lady smiled and said that she knew it must feel a bit strange but assured me that other men have been there before too (She didn’t say if I was the first this year or not, but it was clear that she was trying to diffuse any embarrassment I might have been experiencing.).

She did ask me how long the place in question had been present. “A couple years,” I told her. “Other doctors have said it’s probably nothing.”

“Ooooh,” she said in a very concerned tone. “It’s good that you’re here.”

I was taken into a small room that I thought was a dressing room. The nurse told me that I would need to take off my shirt for the test. I could have sworn that I heard an ‘s’ on that word as she finished her sentence.

“Tests, plural?” I asked.

“Yes, sir. The doctor ordered a mammogram AND an ultrasound,” she replied flatly.

“He didn’t tell me that,” I insisted.

Then she asked that question that I suppose all breast nurses are supposed to ask, “How long have you had this issue?”

Hadn’t I already heard this question before? I said, “A couple years.”

“Ooooh,” she said along with a slight sigh. “It will be fine,” she assured me. “Someone will be back to get you in a few minutes.”

I was confused. “Well, what am I supposed to do in here?” I inquired.

“Nothing. Just have a seat,” she said. Then she closed the door behind her.

As I turned to sit down, my eyes were drawn to the sign on the mirror that said simply, “Please watch the Breast Self Exam video while you wait.” I thought to myself, “Hmmm. I’m not sure my wife really wants me watching that . . . better not.”

Then I saw something I had never seen before: a breast model. Not a nude female but a silicon-like breast on a platter . . . . I mean, tray. OK, I honestly don’t know what it was sitting on because I couldn’t help but look at it and wonder, “Why in the world am I in here with that?”

I decided that I needed to read something while I waited. Southern Living? No, I wasn’t really interested in that. Besides, I often see issues of that magazine when Michelle’s subscription is delivered to the house. RedBook? No, that didn’t really strike my fancy either. The only other available options were a copy of a Gideon-placed Bible and a breast cancer support magazine.

I have never more regretted my choice to pass over the Bible as I did on this day. On the cover of the breast cancer magazine, the headline story just jumped out at me: “Men Share Their Breast Cancer Stories.” Oh, golly . . . just what I wanted to see. Of course, I turned to that article and read all about men wearing pink for breast cancer awareness. I learned several things about male breast cancer, and to be honest, it made me think I was probably a goner.

What was probably just a few minutes seemed like an eternity as I thought through such pertinent matters as who I would call first, where I wanted to be buried, and what musical selections I would definitely want sung at my funeral.

Then another nurse-looking person came in and told me to follow her. We went into a room for the dreaded mammogram. I removed my shirt and undershirt and did exactly as she instructed. The woman said a few things to try and make me feel more comfortable – like, “You’re not the only man who’s had this done.”

“Yeah, right,” I thought to myself.

As I scooted closer into the contraption, she told me that the pressure she applied would hurt for a bit but that it wouldn’t take long. Let’s just say that I have a whole new appreciation for women. This test was particularly painful, and I struggled to even know what the nurse was saying to me as my mind seemed to turn to mush.

“Are you alright?” she asked. “Yes. . . I mean, no,” I answered, as a dizzy feeling washed over me.

“Here’s a chair. Sit down,” she said. Then she opened the door, and called loudly to a co-worker, “I need a cold pack in here!”

Now I must admit that I am a real wuss when it comes to medical stuff. I mean, after all, I once passed out cold at the eye doctor. Too much information just does a real number on me. And today I felt a bit overloaded.

After placing the cold pack on my bald head, the nurse said, “You just stay right there. We can do the other side sitting down.”

“The other side?!” I asked with complete bewilderment. “But that side is fine!”

“Well, we just want to be sure,” she replied.

So here I was in a clinic I didn’t want to be in, surrounded by stuff I didn’t want to look at, trying to somehow press my hairy chest into a contraption that it clearly was not designed for. You can imagine my relief when she said, “All done.”

The ultrasound was WAY easier than the mammogram. The only pain with that was when she snatched off the ‘x’ of adhesive tape that marked the spot in question. And really, I’d have preferred a full-body wax job to the humiliation I felt during that first experience.

Following a conversation with the doctor and nurse, my fears were confirmed – no, not that I had a major problem . . . but that I DIDN’T and had gone through this experience for seemingly no reason.

I asked the doctor if this was something I should be concerned about in the future.

“No,” he answered. “Besides, if you’ve had this for two years, if it were malignant, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

Just as I suspected. They did think I was a goner!

What did I gain from this experience? Well, let’s see:

• Peace of mind that I’m going to be OK.
• An incredible sense of empathy for women throughout the world
• A strange identification with cows
• A real understanding of why a man might hesitate to follow-up at a place called the Baptist Breast Center

Any regrets? Well, yes, just one. Given the chance to do it all over again, I’d definitely have touched the fake boob. I mean, after all, it’s kind of like Halley’s Comet. How many times will that opportunity come knocking?

Oh yeah, one more thing. The next time I wear my pink shirt or tie to church, I’ll be sporting it with a much greater respect for those who have not only been affected by breast cancer — but also for those who have merely endured the diagnostic tests.

There is so much suffering in this world. From Haiti to Chile and all around the globe, the extraordinary troubles, dangers, and snares of humankind tug at the heartstrings of this rather ordinary man. A couple days ago I shared some thoughts regarding suicide — triggered, of course by the news of Andrew Koenig’s death in Vancouver. Today news of the suicide of Marie Osmond’s 18-year-old son, Michael, underscored the urgency of sharing hope with those who most need to know that other people care.

Tonight in one of my regular online ‘reading rooms’ I ran across a post that spoke so eloquently to this incredible societal issue — but more importantly to those who believe all hope is lost.

So for a moment, I hope you’ll set aside any religious and political differences and consider this Prayer from the Living World.

His family apparently became alarmed when he did not board a flight from Vancouver to Los Angeles. As the family made contacts to his friends, they became even more alarmed to find that on top of a particularly despondent-sounding letter to them, Andrew had also sold or given away many of his possessions.

Today the family’s worst fears were confirmed when Andrew’s body was found in his beloved Stanley Park.

Andrew, like many people in our society, suffered from depression. He had reportedly stopped taking his medication a year or so ago. Andrew’s decision to take his life was clearly not a hasty choice. The path of his recent days was strewn with warning signs.

Suicide is described so often as “a permanent solution to a temporary problem,” yet it is a decision made by more than 33,000 Americans each year. In 2007, suicide was the third leading cause of death among people age 15-24. Overall in the U.S., suicide is the 11th leading cause of death, with one suicide every sixteen minutes — and an attempt almost every minute. (More facts and figures here.)

I often hear people say that they could not imagine taking their own life. However, I contend that suicidal thoughts are not strangers to most people. Thankfully the majority of suicidal thoughts can be characterized as fleeting — come and go. But when those thoughts begin to come and stay — even take root — then trouble is on the horizon.

Here are some of the thoughts that fuel suicidal behavior:

• “No one will miss me when I’m gone.”
• “Life is just not worth living.”
• “I’m just a screw-up.”
• “I’m just tired of fighting.”

I am certainly no stranger to suicidal thoughts. I remember those come-and-go thoughts when I was in ninth grade. Fortunately, the come-and-stay thoughts have never been a part of my life. But I think a lot of that has to do with my sense of connectedness to family and friends.

It’s no wonder that so many people consider suicide. Our technologically connected society has in many ways reduced friendship to a collection of tweets and status updates . . . which might help a person feel connected but does very little to speak to a hurting heart.

In a day and age marked by economic strife and increasing pressure on many fronts, I expect that we will see a rise in suicides over the next several years. Keep in mind though that there is no such thing as a ‘successful’ suicide attempt.

Andrew Koenig’s mother, Judith, said, “In his pain, he didn’t realize help was available to him.”

If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, please don’t think you are all alone. Help is available. If you know someone who may be considering suicide, by all means talk with them. One thing is for sure: talking about it will not give them the idea. Your concern might just be the reminder they need that someone truly does care.

Just think . . . in the time it has taken you to read this article,  as many as three people have tried to kill themselves. You can make a difference to someone who has lost hope. As you go through life, take time to listen to others. Take time to be a friend. Take time to care.

I’m grateful in times like this that God does care . . . every moment, every day. I’m reminded that it is far better to hear Him than to be heard by others. These words from “Word of God Speak” by the group Mercy Me seem to be penetrating my soul. Perhaps they’re worth sharing. (I’ve also added an accompanying video to my Vodpod collection at right.)

I’m finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it’s okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say

[CHORUS]
Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You’re in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak

I’m finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice

[REPEAT CHORUS 2x]

I’m finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it’s okay

Change is an interesting thing. It happens whether we like it or not. It’s one of those things that is so natural. Times change. Seasons change.  And yet so often in life, we get comfortable and begin to fight against it, working hard to protect that which keeps us feeling safe and secure.

Well, as the discipleship guy at the church, so much of the actual change process falls under my umbrella . . . which makes my job challenging as well as rewarding. I’m the one who gets to explain to teachers why we’re combining groups or changing spaces or doing something a little different than has been the case. It can be a scary thing, to be sure! (for both parties, I might add)

I guess what I’ve come to realize through my years in ministry is that even I tend to get stuck in ruts. Without adequate challenges, I can become dependent on that which is known. It’s easy to begin relying on lesson plans from days gone by rather than taking the time to re-create something fresh and exciting. It’s easy to call on the same leaders for recurring tasks because, after all, they’ve proven they can do the job. And it’s easy to rest on my laurels and tell myself that things are — dare I say it? — good enough.

Believe it or not, I am very aware of the various emotions that accompany change: feelings of fear, doubt, grief, loss, and anxiety, just to name a few. Change does not come easily for most of us. But I believe that when we stop changing, we stop growing — as individuals and as churches.

I like what the pastor said on Sunday, that we must take an unchanging message and repackage it in ways that are relevant to people in today’s culture. We can’t be eight-track Christians in an iPod world.

With a recent move to Arkansas, my family and I have experienced a whole lot of change in the past few months. And I kept telling myself that this blog looked good enough. But I knew that wasn’t the case.

You see, sometimes we fight battles in our heads that our hearts have already won. So, I’ve spent some time refreshing the ol’ blog . . . bringing in some new colors, new style, and a slightly new way of doing things.

I figure if I’m going to expect anyone else to embrace change, I’m going to have to set the example and lead out in my own life too.

So, I hope you enjoy the look and feel of the new blog . . . just some little changes here and there that will hopefully help advance the message of Christ to people who need to know about the hope we have in Him.

IT’S YOUR TURN!

• What is the hardest thing about change for you personally?