Archives For loneliness

It’s a wrap!

December 26, 2007 — Leave a comment

Christmas unwrappedChristmas has come and gone. After much waiting and preparation, it’s like poof, everything’s done.

Those presents — that took hours to find and wrap — were torn open in a matter of minutes, leaving your tree feeling rather naked. All that food, prepared with great care, was devoured in 30 minutes’ time. The outdoor light displays, which brought so much sparkle to your neighborhood, now lay unattended on many of the lawns around.

And trash. Let’s talk about trash. I really feel for the garbage collectors this time of year. I don’t know about you, but we needed several extra dumpsters to properly dispose of our evidence of Christmas.

I hope you had a good holiday. However, I also realize that it is often after the buzz of the holiday when sadness and loneliness can set in.

Maybe you only got to see those precious loved ones for a little while. . . maybe not at all. Maybe you are just now counting those Christmas cards, realizing that you received only about half as many as you mailed. Maybe you’re looking around the house and wondering why you bothered to go to so much trouble for such a short burst of holiday fun.

I encourage you to practice positive self-talk when your thinking starts to travel downhill like that. Rather than lamenting the short visit with family (whether in person or by phone), give thanks for the fact that you have people who actually care enough to call at all. Some people don’t have even one. Tell yourself, “I am loved. I am special. I am significant. I matter to somebody.”

When you do your Christmas card sent/received tally, offer thanks for each one received. Tell yourself, “This person thought I was worth taking the time — and 41 cents (plus the price of the card).” Also, don’t get caught in the trap of keeping score. Remember the truth of the season: it is more blessed to give than to receive.

When you get to questioning why you go to all the trouble, be careful! Offer thanks for the fact that you have good-enough health to be able to decorate, cook, shop. . . and all those other things you did to make the season extra special for yourself and those you love. Lots of people are not able to do that. Tell yourself, “I am worth the trouble, even if I’m the only one who got to enjoy it.”

Christmas and its aftermath are like everthing else in life. It’s what you make it. As you head into the last week of 2007, take some time to reflect on the blessings you have received. Take some time to thank God for the opportunities you have had to be a blessing to others.

And take some time just to celebrate you. You’re worth it, you know?

Movie Musing: Waitress

December 22, 2007 — Leave a comment

Keri Russell in WaitressI must admit that I don’t watch a lot of movies. However, when I do, I frequently find myself captivated by how contemplative I can be afterwards. Tonight was one of those times.

My wife and I rented the movie Waitress (Fox Searchlight, 2007) and enjoyed a quiet evening at home. While it’s not a film I would heartily recommend as a must-see (PG-13 primarily for sex and language), it is one that made me think a good bit. . . not bad for a movie that I’d pretty easily describe as cheesy. The real critics use the word folksy. . . guess that’s more appealing.

Despite its lack of cinematography, the flick did connect pretty well to real life. I see some of its themes every day through my work and ministry.

The story line reminds me how many people out there are truly miserable in their marriages. The main character, a small-town girl played by Keri Russell, is trapped in a loveless marriage with a controlling, abusive, and explosive man who seems to think only of himself.

I’m also reminded how many people in this world are truly lonely. For the three waitresses in the film, their workplace — a simple pie diner — provides about the only opportunity for meaningful relationship. One of them eventually settles for a man she is very unattracted to — because no one else has shown any interest in her. I’ve seen many people in difficult relationships for exactly that reason.

I was also struck by how there was a complete absence of anything spiritual in the film. The characters in it simple do their best to get by from day to day, with little regard for the future. Russell’s character, pregnant with an unwanted baby, was driven to seek a better life for the unborn little one. . . so I guess she wasn’t totally disconnected from her sense of future. She just felt stuck in her present. I think there are a lot of people in the world like that as well.

There are so many ways in which this simple film grabbed my attention and made me take note.

As I think of my own life tonight, I feel pretty grateful to have true love, real relationships, and a definite purpose for my life. I hope you do too.