Those were the closing words of last Thursday’s episode of “Grey’s Anatomy.” And while I wouldn’t describe myself as a regular watcher of that TV drama, I couldn’t help but consider the profound truth of that statement — and the many people who, through anguish and tears, can testify to that. The journey of life does not come with a universal early warning system. Sometimes life can go from perfectly sunny to dark, stormy, and chaotic in just a split second.

There are, in fact, millions of stories — all of which represent actual people — that bear evidence of sudden impact. Just in the past year or so, you and I have witnessed a number of them in our own lives or the lives of someone we love. Many things can cause sudden impact, including: auto accidents, plane crashes, storms, earthquakes, fires, health issues, unanticipated deaths, miscarriages, loss of jobs, murders, suicides . . . The list goes on and on.

During my time in ministry I have walked with many people through ‘sudden impact’ situations.

The shock.

The horror.

The grief.

The devastation.

The despair.

And sometimes, the long road to recovery.

The truth is that if we live long enough, we’ll experience our share of sudden impacts. There are three key principles that are helpful to remember:

1. God is God, and we are not. He is sovereign and in control. He is never caught off-guard. While the things of this life often leave us shocked, dismayed, and disheartened, God sees the bigger picture. What’s difficult at times for us to accept is that we may not be able to glimpse much of that bigger picture this side of heaven.

2. God can be trusted to provide strength and comfort to the broken-hearted. It’s often in those moments when time seems to stand still that His presence can most be felt. Scripture tells us that His grace is sufficient for all our needs. What I’ve come to realize through the years is that He gives us more grace at the time we need it most — not necessarily before then.

3. God is always worthy of praise and thanksgiving. No matter what struggles we face or how deep our heartache, God’s indescribable gift of forgiveness and atonement through His Son, Jesus Christ, makes Him absolutely and forever deserving of glory and honor and praise — regardless of what this life throws our way. The Apostle Paul, writing to the church at Thessalonica, penned these words:

“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, NIV

Perhaps you stumbled upon this post by chance today. I choose to believe that nothing in this life happens by chance, but rather, that God in His omniscience knits things together according to a perfect plan that only He can fully understand. Whether you’re recovering from a sudden impact in your own life — or perhaps about to experience one — God alone is the One on whom we can cast our cares, because He cares for us. (1 Peter 5:7)

IT’S YOUR TURN!
How have you experienced the grace of God in your own times of sudden impact? What other traits of God can you testify to during times of difficulty?

Did you like this post? If so, you might also enjoy these previous posts:

• Fear Not!

• Nine years later: Where are you now?

• 4 keys to a Christ-centered ‘doomsday’ response

One of my dad’s favorite Christmas songs is Elvis Presley’s “Blue Christmas.” For many this year, the holidays are proving especially challenging — even blue, as the case may be. I know a number of people who have lost loved ones and are spending their first Christmas without a spouse, a child, a mother, a father, a sibling, a grandparent, or a best friend. For those who are grieving a loss, Christmastime can actually exacerbate their feelings of sadness and loneliness. Many of these people will make a brave effort to carry on. They may have managed to haul out the decorations, put up the tree, and listen to some festive music, but it’s just not the same.

The very memories that comfort can also evoke a deeper pain. Little things the person never even thought about before are now right at the forefront of the mind. They run across an ornament that held special meaning for their loved one, and their eyes begin to water. They hear a silly Christmas song that used to drive their loved one crazy — or a sappy movie often shared together — yet somehow this year that memory just underscores the sense of loss. They cook — or are served — a favorite holiday food their loved one just couldn’t do without, and it just doesn’t taste the same. During times like this we often discover a profound truth: The things we thought we loved most were really only loved because of the ones we shared them with.

There are many firsts that are hard to handle:

• Finding that stocking and knowing it probably doesn’t need to be hung this year.
• Addressing Christmas cards, signed without the deceased family member’s name. (This exercise is ten times worse when the annual card or letter is the means by which news of the death must be shared with long-distance friends and acquaintances.)
• Realizing that this year is the first year — maybe ever — that cards and/or gifts will not be exchanged with that special person.

Of course, death is not the only thing that can sour the holiday season. There are many parents dealing with devastating illnesses — for themselves or one of their children. Every effort may be made to make this Christmas the best one ever. After all, the unspoken fear is that this might be the last one they’ll have together. And even with all the effort put forward, the reality is that neither party may have enough energy to actually enjoy it.

I’ve been reminded this year that life is so incredibly precious. I attended one funeral service last week in Mississippi — and had another this week that I really should have attended. Over the next couple days I’ll attend two more. I have several friends and family members fighting extremely uphill battles with cancer — and other friends who are sitting with their terminally ill children, already in hospice care. For them, twinkling Christmas lights just don’t matter much right now.

With just a week or so left before Christmas Day, let me offer a few thoughts. Perhaps you are one of those people I’ve described above. If so, don’t be too hard on yourself. Everyone grieves a little differently. Resist the urge to isolate yourself from the hustle and bustle around you. The sounds that seem so obnoxiously annoying this year will, in time, gain a new sense of significance that you’ll again appreciate. Joy can return to your hurting heart — and it will. Also, know that as silly as it might sound, a ‘scheduled cry time’ may take the edge off and allow you to be more engaged with those around you. You must find what works for you — and unfortunately that process is mainly trial-and-error.

If you’re someone who just stumbled upon this page and is thinking, “How depressing!”, then I congratulate you on your banner year — but remind you that we usually don’t know when we’ll transfer from joy-filled to grief-stricken. Tragedy is unpredictable, and loss is often unforeseen. Be sensitive to those in your life who are going through the holidays without someone they love. Jot them a note of encouragement, just to let them know you’re thinking about them and you care. Don’t worry, you won’t ‘remind’ them of their loss; they’re quite aware of it. It will mean more to them than you can possibly know to hear that someone remembers the hole in their heart.

In practicing grace, kindness, and generosity to those who are grieving, sad, burdened or downtrodden, you will embrace the very essence of what this season is all about. You can’t keep anyone from having a ‘blue Christmas,’ but you can help it be just a shade lighter. (See what one church in Tennessee is doing to minister to those who are hurting: Click Here)

IT’S YOUR TURN!

• Are you experiencing a blue Christmas this year? If so, what suggestions can you offer for how people can help you?
• Have you recently ministered to someone who is struggling this holiday season? How was your attempt at kindness received?

All that said, there are lessons we can learn from reading and watching the news. I admittedly try to limit my consumption of it, since it is clinically proven as bad for our health. Still, the events of the past nine days have been eye-opening to me — and I’ve been reminded of some tough lessons in leadership that are perhaps worth sharing.

For those of you unfamiliar with the big story from the D/FW metroplex, on Father’s Day (June 20) the adult son of the brand-spanking new Dallas Police Chief, David Brown, Sr. (in that position for about two months) killed Lancaster police Officer Craig Shaw as Shaw responded to the call of a shooting at an apartment complex. (Click here to read the original story from WFAA). According to the report, “the Lancaster officer — a five-year veteran of the force and the father of two children — was answering a ‘shooting in progress’ call around 6 p.m. when there was an exchange of gunfire.”

A 37-year-old five-year officer — a husband and father of two children — was killed on Father’s Day by the son of the new Dallas Police Chief.

OK, so it’s a bad situation already. A tragic loss of life for a family. The only officer killed in the line of duty in the history of the Lancaster department. And a pretty rough start, I’d say, for the new head of DPD, who must deal with not only the loss of an area officer who was killed by his son – but also with the loss of the son himself — also killed in the incident.

Fast forward to Sunday, June 27, after a full week of a news dominated by coverage of the incident, the aftermath, and the preparations for the funeral of a police officer.

Just when you think a situation couldn’t get any worse . . . well, it does.

(Click here for that part of the story.) Essentially, in the chief’s absence, two assistant chiefs made a grave mistake by calling multiple Dallas officers to escort the funeral procession for the chief’s son, David Brown, Jr. Apparently this assignment was not made long before the officers’ primary assignment of escorting the same-day funeral procession for the Lancaster officer who was killed in the line of duty — by the Dallas chief’s son.

With profound empathy for all involved in this terrible situation, I share the view of countless others — that this decision, regardless of the reason, was not only wrong; it was also offensive to the family of Officer Shaw. I admit that being the brother of a state trooper makes me particularly sympathetic to this salt in an open wound.

Now the escort debacle doesn’t materially change the situation even one bit. Two men are dead. Two men are buried. Many friends and family members are left to pick up the pieces and somehow move on in light of the reality of their passings.

However, this awful situation highlights some key principles of leadership, among them:

1. Leaders must be prepared to lead. Crises happen every day in our lives. Situations demand quick response time. The problem is that when leaders lack the judgment to make sound decisions under pressure, then insult is added to injury and fuel to fire.
      
2. Leaders must be willing to accept responsibility. When a gaffe as big as this funeral procession fiasco happens, ownership means saying ‘I’m sorry’ — not defending the bad decision to the nth degree.
      
3. Leaders must be willing to intentionally surround themselves with other solid leaders. No individual is an island unto himself. Those who constitute a leader’s nucleus of support must be capable of stepping up to the plate and delivering effective results, consistent with the collective integrity of the organization’s members.
       
4. Leaders must be willing to learn from the lessons of life. No one could have predicted something like this. Nothing can undo the damage that has been done. No words can assuage the raw hurt. Time alone does not heal wounds; it’s what we do with the time that counts. Leaders do well to reflect on their decisions in the company of others for the purpose of identifying any clouded judgments or possible blind spots.

Situations like this take time to process. Every day many of us face challenges in leadership on a different scale, but nonetheless challenges which we must be competent to handle. When people begin to view us as incompetent, lacking confidence, or belligerent, it’s probably time to start packing the bags — because leadership demands respect, and respect demands trust. Without those two essentials, one is not really leading anyone. He’s merely taking a walk.

And not a one of us is exempt from that harsh standard of evaluation. Only by the power of Christ can we lead well through the hills and valleys of life.

However, the reality is that most people experience real life in their relationship with their mother — a mixed bag of happy memories, sincere regrets, angry outbursts, complicated misunderstandings, periods of silence and so on.

Perhaps that’s why card shops like Hallmark, after so many years in business, still seem to struggle to produce just the right card for many well-intentioned shoppers. With Mother’s Day card categories like “Mom, You’re the Best,” “Across the Miles,” “Warm and Respectful,” “Humorous,” and “Simply Stated,” you’d think there could be just the right card somewhere in that long aisle.

However, year after year I have observed many fellow shoppers struggling to find that perfect card, and I’ve listened with interest to their under-the-breath grumbling as they frantically search for that seemingly elusive card.

“Too mushy.”

“She wasn’t religious.”

“No emotion at all in that one.”

“She’s my mother — not my wife.”

The truth is that only you can best articulate your thoughts and feelings about your Mom. And if you’re fortunate enough to still have a living mother with whom you actually communicate positively, then it is your words she wants to hear — not those of some professional card writer.

Mother’s Day is in many ways a day set aside each year to honor mothers, to shame children, to stigmatize the childless, and to provide retailers with a springtime sales bounce.

This year I hope you will mark this day however it best fits your own situation. Don’t let the movies, the commercials, the sappy stories, or even the preacher’s message dictate the way you acknowledge the day — or the way you decide not to acknowledge it.

Relationships are difficult. Life is messy. Not everyone has a reason to celebrate — or even to remember fondly.

I’m one of the lucky ones, I suppose. I plan to spend a few minutes visiting by phone with my mother, who has blessed my life in innumerable ways. I’ll treat my wife and mother of my children (along with the children themselves) to a nice Mother’s Day brunch. And if I know me well, I’ll end up feeling guilty for not being able to spend some actual time with my mom — and guilty for creating work for those moms who had to cook and serve my family. It’s true what they say: life isn’t fair.

I also plan to do a few other things on this day:

• I plan to send warm thoughts to those whose mothers have died in the last year, particularly young children.
• I will pray for those I know who want so badly to be parents but have found that dream impossible, at least to this point.
• I will offer some special prayers for those who opted to abort their ‘fetus’ — and never feel the warmth and pride of seeing that it actually was a baby human with feelings, with life, with a soul.
• I will pray especially that more of those who don’t want to be parents, for whatever reason, will be willing to give life to their child — and a treasured opportunity to those who do want to raise a child.
• I will think of those mothers whose children are risking their lives in military service that we might enjoy freedom.
• I will think of those whose mothers are behind bars.
• I will think of courageous single moms who are working multiple jobs in order to provide for their children — often without any special acknowledgement even on days like this.
• I will think of those people who are dealing with their mother’s serious physical or mental illness or chemical dependency.
• I will think of those moms of children with special needs. The ones I know demonstrate extraordinary strength and resilience in the face of persistent challenges.

If you find yourself fitting fairly snugly into one of those categories, then I pray God’s special blessings on you today. I hope you’ll feel some comfort knowing that there are millions of you in this great big world; not everybody gets to be ‘normal’ or ‘traditional.’

If you are reading this and classify yourself as one of the ‘normal’ folks for whom Mother’s Day presents no emotional ambivalence, no baggage, and no special issues, then count yourself blessed — and spend some time thinking and praying for someone who is struggling today. I have no doubt that you can think of at least one such individual.

However you choose to spend this day, I pray that you’ll be able to see the hand of God at work in your life on this second Sunday in May.

Last week’s devastating cyclone in Burma has left thousands upon thousands dead. And with that nation’s power-hungry regime in place, the free world may never know the final numbers. Those who would seek to help the desperate people find their attempts shunned — or worse, their food and basic supplies confiscated by the government. We must pray.

The tornadoes and flooding that continue to characterize this season’s weather pattern have already left hundreds homeless here in the states. And forecasters predict several more weeks of storms. We must pray.

In China this week, an earthquake registering 7.9, rocked the region for a period of two to three minutes. In its wake, thousands are dead, many trapped beneath the rubble, and many more simply listed as missing. We must pray.

Just this morning, news media reports a new cyclone headed in the direction of weather-weary Burma. What is being hailed as one of the worst huminatarian crises in recent history appears to be getting even worse. We must pray.

Prayer is one of those things that is deeply personal, but I believe, extremely powerful. It is through prayer that we communicate with God. Besides each of these terrible calamities already mentioned, we each have our own issues and situations that need a special touch from God today.

For many, the rising costs of living pose very real threats to financial stability — especially to those on fixed incomes. For others, the reality of job loss is impacting not only their financial status but also their self-esteem. Still others face situations too painful for words.

Soren Kierkegaard once said, “Prayer does not change God, but it changes him who prays.”

Isn’t it good to know that in a world filled with change and uncertainty, we have a God who is constant? I have no trouble finding people to pray for and things to pray about. In fact, each of us has a million reasons to pray.

For today, I encourage you to pray that God will change you into the person He desires for you to be. That kind of change does not happen overnight. It will demand patience and perseverance. It will demand time, energy, and heightened priority. It will demand more than words, more than conviction. It will demand sacrifice, perhaps in a number of ways.

Whether we seek to change the world – or just our little corner of it. . . we must pray.

Are you struggling with something today that no one else knows about? Do you feel all alone? Feel free to contact me. I would love the opportunity to pray for you.

Having served in ministry and counseling settings for many years, I have had my fair share of dealings with suicide. My own experience is consistent with the premise that the victims come from all walks of life: a nurse, a banker’s husband, a public school superintendent, a medical doctor, an teenaged boy, a farmer, and a fifth grader — to name a few of them.

In dealing with the families of suicide victims, I am almost always met with wide-ranging responses, from “I can’t believe he would do this” to “There were signs that something wasn’t right.” Family members typically run the full gamut of emotions from shock and horror to outrage to self-blame — none of which is able to un-do the damage done by an independent self-destructive act.

There are many things we still don’t understand about suicide and why it happens. But there are some things we do know. For example, some groups are at higher risk than others. According to the Center for Disease Control, men are four times more likely than women to die from suicide. However, three times more women than men report attempting suicide. In addition, suicide rates are high among young people and those over age 65.

There are a variety of factors that can put a person at risk for attempting or committing suicide. However, having the risk factors does not always mean that suicide will take place. Risk factors include:

• Previous suicide attempt(s)
• History of depression or other mental illness
• Alcohol or drug abuse
• Family history of suicide or violence
• Physical illness
• Feeling alone

Suicide is a significant public health problem. More than 31,000 people kill themselves each year. More than 425,000 people with self-inflicted injuries are treated in emergency rooms each year. (CDC, 2006) Don’t become a statistic. If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide, even if you do not have an active plan to kill yourself, talk with someone about these thoughts. Help is available in a wide variety of places.

One of the things I hear over and over from those who are contemplating suicide is that they feel invisible to others, as if they really don’t count for anything. Many argue that they will not be missed by their families anyway. Perhaps the “D.C. Madam” felt this way too. Although she was widely recognized due to the handle assigned her by the news media, she was known by only a few.  And those people will remember her not as the “D.C. Madam” but rather as Deborah Jeane Palfrey. A daughter. A sister. A friend. A human being.

In many cases, suicide attempts are not so much a cry for help as a cry for love.

I contend that there is no problem suicide can solve. Someone is always available to talk at the National Suicide Hotline, 1.800.273.8255. Your primary care doctor, police department, and local emergency room are also good sources for help.

Toward the end of the meal, my son expressed a certain urgency to find a restroom. Of course, our server was nowhere in sight at that time, so I went on a little expedition to scout out the restrooms. Being the man that I am, I thought I could do fine without stopping for directions. I looked in a couple different seemingly logical places but to no avail. Finally, in an act of sheer desperation, I went to the hostess desk and asked.

The hostess guided us into a dimly-lit bar area that was bustling with activity. As I looked around the room, I could see no sign of a restroom. Then she took us around another corner into a hallway. . . still no sign. I had almost decided that she too was lost. Finally, the hostess directed us to take a left turn, where we finally found the restrooms, clearly marked by the familiar silhouettes of a man and a woman. By that point, I was really glad that my son’s urgency wasn’t TOO urgent, if you know what I mean.

How many times in life do we do this? We know the problem. We know what we need. We just don’t know how to get there.

I find that is frequently the case for those who come to a counseling session for the first time. Usually they have some indication of what the problem is. They frequently have some idea what they need. They simply struggle to know how to get from where they are to where they want to be.

Maybe you find yourself feeling that way from time to time. Like me in the restaurant, you look around in all the logical places only to find yourself increasingly frustrated by a growing sense of urgency and a still-unmet need. The good news is that you don’t have to walk circles in the dark. Have the courage to lay aside your pride and ask someone for help. As hard as that may be, particularly for men, it is one of the quickest ways to take care of yourself so that you can get to the things that bring joy and fulfillment in life.

The journey may be longer than you had hoped. The path may be darker than you’d like. But getting to where you want to be is an incredible accomplishment.

If you’re struggling today to find your way — through loss, through change, or through personal or relational chaos — I encourage you to seek out the help of a capable pastor or counselor.

Ignoring the problem will not make it go away; it will only make your journey longer, your mind more confused, and your spirit more anxious.

I was sitting in a conference session out of town when the news came to me. At that point, sources were reporting 16 people confirmed dead. Who could know that number would double?

Violence has a way of shaking us up, getting our attention, and making us think about the things that are most important in life. Today on the VT campus there will be many solemn remembrances of the day that brought the close-knit community to its knees. In the months that have passed since the bloody rampage, students have experienced the full gamut of emotions, from shock and numbness to anger to grief to hope.

In many ways, what was intended for evil has produced much good. Students have come together in a strengthened bond of unity. It’s funny how crisis does that to people. Countless schools and businesses across the nation have evaluated and strengthened their own security plans and strategies. And a large number of people have been reminded of the reality of the brevity of life.

There has been much speculation and discussion in the past year about where to place the blame for the shootings. Everyone seems to have an opinion about that. I believe the responsibility lies not with campus officials, innocent students, or even the mental health community. The responsibility lies with the gunman himself. . . a true coward whose name deserves no mention. . . an individual who carefully planned and executed his attack with special regard for creating legacy-building publicity for himself. We have no need to remember his evil heart.

These are the faces that deserve our remembrance today. And their families and friends are the ones who need our prayers.

Perhaps Henry Ford said it best:

Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and griefs which we endure help us in our marching onward.

May today be a day to look back. . . and march on.

I was only in 9th grade when Uncle Bubba was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of brain cancer. Although my time with him was much briefer than I would have chosen, the lessons I learned from him linger to this day.

Uncle Bubba was a quiet, unassuming man with a passion for God. He worked for many years at a NAPA parts store, which was just one of the reasons he seemed to know everybody. An active servant in his church, he always had a smile and warm-hearted word to offer. In fact, I don’t remember ever seeing him in a bad mood.

During his short 42 years of life, he modeled the importance of family responsibility and contentment. I remember the many times he would call the house to talk with my dad, usually several nights each week. They each loved listening to the police scanners and keeping up with the goin’s-on in the area.

I remember the trip we made to Memphis for Libertyland and the time our two families made an overnight get-away to Vicksburg to step back to the time of the Civil War.

Perhaps my fondest memories were those that involved cooking out. Uncle Bubba made the best hamburgers. To this day, every time I grill, I think of him and wonder if my burgers even come close. (I have a feeling they don’t, but I know that he’d tell me they’re terrific.) Of course, he’d have to have a bag of plain Lay’s potato chips to eat with them. Those were definitely his favorite.

Twenty years have come and gone, and yet even with the passing of time, the loss still rears its head in ways that sometimes catch me off-guard. As I spend some time reflecting on the blessings of a life well-lived, I pray that God would give me many opportunities to be a blessing to others as well.

Grief is a funny animal. It seems you never really get over a loss. In fact, that really shouldn’t be the goal. The major task of grief is to get through the loss, reorganizing life effectively and building a relationship with the memories that remain. For me, that has helped ease the pain of a loss that left me with unanswered questions, burning anger, and profound sadness. Tears still stream when I think about how hard I wept when I found out my prayers hadn’t been answered in the way I had hoped.

Twenty years. . . . seems impossible that I’ve had several years’ more life without him than with him. Yet the power of his influence is unmistakable. That provides more evidence of the importance of a life well-lived.

May you focus today on the things that matter most in life. Hug your family. . . call your friends. . . celebrate little joys. Today is a gift to be opened with anticipation and gratitude.

Make today count.

Everyone knows that grief is a process that everyone goes through in response to loss — or even anticipated loss. That loss can come in many forms. Most often, however, we think of it in terms of the death of loved ones.

This past Sunday, my church held a “Hanging of the Green” service in which members participated in decorating the worship center for the Christmas season. We lit candles, decorated trees, and hung wreaths. We also did something else that is common in many churches: members were able to place a poinsettia in the worship center in honor or memory of a friend or family member. That got me thinking about how much grief impacts people during the holidays.

Yesterday I talked about my own memory of my grandmother. I am actually quite experienced in dealing with grief, from a professional — and personal — perspective, having lost a number of family members through the years. As 2007 draws to a close, I can think of a handful of people I know who have lost loved ones.

It seems that the holidays always exacerbate feelings of grief and loss. It’s amazing how many things can trigger memories of loved ones. If you have experienced loss this year, here are just a few things to be mindful of as you approach Christmas:

• Emotions are frequently more intense at this time of year. Adjusting to life without your loved one can be a challenging task. Having that empty space at the holiday dinner table, or that extra room under your tree, can make for a difficult time. Expect the emotions to come and go. Take time to experience them; don’t stifle them. You may do well to set aside some time specifically for experiencing these emotions — a scheduled “cry time,” if you will (maybe even 30 minutes a day, if needed).
   
• Don’t expect people to acknowledge your loss. Just count it as a special gift when they do. Everyone is so busy during the holidays. In spite of the selfless gift God gave through baby Jesus, the Christmas season itself can become very self-focused, if we’re not careful. Maybe it’s been several months since your loss. While it’s still fresh on your heart and mind, others have moved on, which can leave you feeling even more isolated and detached.
   
• Stay connected to the people you love. It is common for people to slip into a pattern of isolation following loss — especially during the holidays. Recognizing the fact that the world has kept spinning in spite of your pain may seem more that you can bear. Find someone that you can share your heart with. Find a buddy to have coffee with, or go shopping with, or take in a holiday concert — knowing full well that even each of those experiences will likely bring about memories of time spent with your loved one.
   
• Realize that some people probably haven’t heard of your loss. As Christmas cards and letters begin to arrive, you may be puzzled to see handwritten envelopes addressed to your deceased spouse or other family member. Even in our best efforts to communicate the news of loss to people, there are invariably those who, for whatever reason, do not get our message. These cards can be like pouring salt into an open wound, each one reminding you of the emptiness deep inside. Rather than focusing on the loss, do your best to shift your focus to how loved the person was. And, even in your loss, choose to be gracious to those who do not know.

Realize that, just like the poinsettias in the photo above, you are not alone. Many people have experienced loss this year, and though the pain is fresh and real and raw, you will be able to get through it.

Remember to maintain proper self-care through the holiday season. During a time when schedules can get crazy real fast, make a special point to get good rest, nutrition, and exercise. In fact, that can be the gift you give yourself this year.

If you are grieving this holiday season, may God grant you a special sense of His presence and peace.