Archives For ministry

4 practical ways to help hurting friends

May 18, 2012 — 2 Comments

All of us have hard times in life. For most, these hard times don’t represent the majority of our days. However, there are definitely people who struggle for extended periods with problems, difficulties, and situations that just don’t seem to improve.

I have some friends and family members who are presently experiencing difficult days. While I won’t claim to have all the answers, I would like to offer four suggestions for helping those who are hurting:

1. Pray for them. Why is it that even for Christians prayer is often our last resort rather than our first response? I believe that prayer changes things, so I pray for my hurting friends, knowing that the God of the universe hears our cries and cares deeply for His children. I’ve found that praying for people is something easy to promise when asked — but just as easy to forget once I’m distracted by the busyness of life. Never underestimate the power of praying with your friends in their time of need. We bond with one another when we pray aloud together.

2. Be present with them. So many times we struggle to find the right words to say. Often that’s because there simply are no words. Nothing we can say will change the situation or alleviate the pain. Be willing to be present with your friends. When I minister to people who are gravely ill or to families who have just lost one to death, I’ve found that just being there is enough. In our busy society we’re prone to try and fix things. Just be present and available to listen or pray or cry. Your presence is an invaluable gift.

3. Allow them an opportunity to have a get-away. This one is not always possible for every situation, but there’s usually some way to pull it off. When emotional burdens drain your friends’ life and energy, offer to watch the kids . . . or take your friends for a drive in the country . . . or give them a gift card to the movies. Just a little time away — a change of pace — can provide a much-needed respite from the constant cares and stresses of life.

4. Take them a meal. No matter what is going on, at some point your friends have to eat. A nutritious, home-cooked meal — or even a restaurant gift card — can provide a practical help. Many Sunday School classes and ministry groups now use a handy, user-friendly website to coordinate meals for those in need. Click here to check it out.

In almost every situation, we can find some way to be helpful to those who are hurting. Just remember that if you’re not hurting now, you will be one day. Do something for others that you’d like to have done for you in your time of need.

“So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.” – Galatians 6:10

IT’S YOUR TURN!
What are some practical ways others have been helpful to you in times of need?

In encouragement , , , , , ,
permalink

White Ribbon Week – Oct. 30-Nov. 6

October 30, 2011 — 3 Comments

Today begins the week that draws attention and raises awareness of the dangerous and ever-increasing impact of pornography in our culture. It’s a problem that has led to the destruction of countless marriages and relationships, including several close friends. Many of you know that my dissertation was centered around developing effective ministries to help combat this problem — a problem that Chuck Swindoll has called the #1 problem in the church today.

In an open letter posted to his website several years ago, Swindoll wrote:

The most recent studies available suggest that one out of every two people — that’s 50% — of the people sitting in our pews, are looking at and/or could be addicted to internet pornography. Stop and imagine the ugly but very real possibility of some of your own elders and deacons leaving your meeting and going home to surf porn. Think about youth leaders viewing it one minute, and leading a small group with your kids thirty minutes later. It’s ruining marriages, destroying relationships, harming youth, and hurting the body of Christ. . . . My friend, it’s time to do something about it. In fact, we need to start today. Making a difference requires action . . . . Our churches are in trouble. This is not the time to simply wait and pray.”

I have fought — and to a large extent still fight daily — the battle against pornography in my own life. It’s not a fun thing to talk about. It’s certainly not something that most people want to think about, especially as it relates to Christians and ministry leaders. However, not acknowledging and not talking about it is precisely why pornography is considered a silent epidemic that impacts far more men and women than you’d like to know. Sexual temptation really can be thought of as every man’s battle — or, for that matter, every person’s battle. Many studies and surveys have been conducted regarding sexual thoughts and behaviors. While the statistics do not always match, they do almost universally sound major alarms about the severity of the problem. Consider for a moment these statistics:

GENERAL STATISTICS

  • 12% of internet websites are pornographic. That’s 24,644,172 sites! (United Families International)
  • Every second $3,075.64 is spent on pornography — and 28,258 people are viewing porn. (UFI)
  • Total porn industry revenue for 2006: $13.3 billion in the US; $97 billion worldwide.
  • 40 million Americans are regular visitors to porn sites. (UFI)
  • 29% of born-again adults in the US feel that it is morally acceptable to view movies with explicit sexual behavior. (Barna Group)
  • 42% of adults believe it is “morally acceptable” to have a sexual relationship with someone of the opposite sex to whom they are not married.
  • The least popular day of the year for viewing porn is Thanksgiving. (UFI)
  • The most popular day of the week for viewing porn is Sunday. (UFI)

REGARDING CLERGY

  • 51% of pastors say cyber-pornography is a possible temptation; 37% say it is a current struggle. (Christianity Today, Leadership Survey, December 2001)
  • 20% of all the calls received on the Focus on the Family Pastoral Care Line are for help with issues such as pornography and compulsive sexual behavior.
  • 33% of clergy admitted to having visited a sexually explicit website. Of those who had visited a pornographic site, 53% had visited such sites “a few times” in the past year, and 18% visit sexually explicit sites between a couple times a month and more than once a week.
  • 57% of pastors say that addiction to pornography is the most sexually damaging issue to their congregation. (Christians and Sex Leadership Journal Survey, March 2005)

REGARDING MEN

  • 70% of men from age 18-24 visit a pornographic site in a typical month. (UFI)
  • 67% of 18-26-year-old men believe viewing pornography is acceptable.
  • 66% of men in their 20′s and 30′s admit to being regular users of pornography.
  • 20% of men admit to accessing pornography at work. (UFI)
  • Half of unmarried men ages 20-29 said they would have sex without any interest in marriage.

REGARDING WOMEN

  • 28% of those admitted to sexual addiction are women.
  • 34% of female readers of Today’s Christian Woman‘s online newsletter admitted to intentionally accessing internet pornography — and 1 out of every 6 women, including Christians, struggles with an addiction to pornography.
  • 49% of 18-26-year-old women believe viewing pornography is acceptable.
  • 13% of women admit to accessing pornography at work. (UFI)

REGARDING FAMILIES

  • 47% of Christian families said pornography is a problem in their home. (Focus on the Family, October 2003)
  • The internet was a significant factor is 2 out of 3 divorces. (American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, 2003)
  • 9 out of 10 children between the ages of 8 and 16 have viewed pornography on the internet, in most cases unintentionally. (London School of Economics, January 2002)
  • Average age of first internet exposure to pornography: 11 (InternetFilterReview.com and UFI)
  • Largest consumer of internet pornography: 12-17-year olds (various sources as of 2007)
  • 1 in 7 children who use the internet have been sexually solicited. (InternetFilerReview.com 2005)
  • 80% of 15-17-year-olds have had multiple hard-core exposures.

Over the last ten years there have been a number of positive attempts to proactively lift the veil from this dirty little secret. These include efforts by Promise Keepers, XXX Church, Every Man’s Battle, and Freedom Begins Here. I remain convinced, however, that we have much work left to do. It starts with me; it starts with you. I encourage you to take the following steps with regard to this issue: Continue Reading…

In Uncategorized , , , , , , , , , , ,
permalink