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BALANCE: My one word

January 19, 2012 — Leave a comment

Courtesy of Wordle.net

So, we’re well into the new year, and I’m still trying to refine my personal goals. First though, I must make a true confession:

I am not Superman. I am human.

Sure, you’re probably not overly surprised by that. However, at some level I’ve been acting for far too long like I am somehow Superman. Although I’m a minister and understand all too well the dangers of compassion fatigue, I have allowed my life to become completely and totally unbalanced. How do I know?

MY PROBLEM

I work an ungodly number of hours each week, often ‘forgetting’ to grab lunch and frequently staying up until 2:00 or 3:00 a.m. to work on a project. Sometimes I don’t make it to bed at all.

I don’t spend sufficient time with my family — totally focused and engaged with them. Sure, we’re often in the same room, but the ‘electronic leash’ called the iPhone manages to occupy my time and compete for my attention. And I frequently find myself browsing the internet on my phone while browsing a separate page on my laptop. That’s insane.

I don’t take good physical care of myself. We’ve already determined that I don’t always eat meals as I should. What I do eat is usually not that great for me nutrition-wise. We’ve also determined that I don’t get adequate sleep and rest. And I can’t overstate how much of a toll that takes on me in a multitude of ways. It’s no wonder that I’ve developed a number of health issues over the past several years. Fortunately, there’s nothing real serious going on that I’m aware of, but the stress of life exacerbates every little problem. My doctors have warned me that I must slow down and take care of myself.

MY SOLUTION

All of this is just to say that rather than listing a whole lot of resolutions that I’ll probably just end up breaking after a short while, like many people, I’ve decided to focus on just one word for this year. That word is BALANCE.

Now I’m sure that sounds all well and good. I’m sure you’re all for me making some changes. However, this perfectionist is going to have to accept some stark realities. So are those who associate regularly with me.

MY ACTION STEPS

In order to achieve my goal of leading a much more balanced lifestyle, I am going to have to make some choices that — for me — are pretty big ones:

      • I will disable the audible e-mail alert on my phone.
    • I will not bring my phone to the dinner table. It cannot be welcome there.
    • I will not always get work done with the speed and level of detail to which I and those around me have become accustomed. We’re all just going to have to deal with that disappointment.
    • I will make a concerted effort to get proper nutrition, exercise, and rest.
    • I will delegate some responsibilities to others who are perfectly capable of doing the work.
    • I will take time to slow down and spend quality time with my wife and kids. (It’s a well-known fact that ministers often have some of the most dysfunctional children. May that not be my legacy as a father.)
    • I will learn to tell people ‘No’ — especially when their need simply evidences poor planning or lack of forethought. Not everything is my problem.

MY EXAMPLE

I am committed to doing whatever it takes to restore balance and health to my life. After all, how can I effectively counsel others to live balanced lives if I’m not modeling that kind of lifestyle? This is not about will-power; it’s about making good choices — one after the other — with God’s help.

BALANCE. It is absolutely non-negotiable for me. I must never let myself get to this point again. Ever.

IT’S YOUR TURN!
What word do you need to focus on during this calendar year?

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Did you like this post? If so, you might also be interested in these previous posts:

• A life without regrets?

• Some help with resolutions

• 10 secrets to keeping those resolutions

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10 secrets to keeping those resolutions

January 1, 2012 — Leave a comment

A new year is a great time to evaluate life . . . to reflect on successes, failures, hurts, disappointments, losses — and to look forward to the promise of new beginnings. Even though we are free to ‘start fresh’ anytime, there’s something psychologically powerful about turning the calendar page to a brand new year.

Of course, there are many who will make resolutions to improve themselves in some way during 2012. Surveys have indicated that most resolutions don’t make it past the month of January. Today I offer you ten secrets to guaranteed success:

1. Don’t personalize your goals. Simply read one of those New Year’s articles in Sunday’s paper and use that as your goal-making guide. Better yet, just ask your friends what their goals are and resolve to do the same. Just think of all the time you’ll save.

2. Don’t write down your goals. Not on paper. Not on your computer. Not on your bathroom mirror. Nowhere at all! Before a week has come and gone, you’ll have forgotten any of these silly little dreams and can get back to being the same ol’ you that you’ve always been.

3. Don’t be realistic in your thinking. Shoot for the stars! Don’t settle for  just a little self-improvement. Go all out and aim for a total life transformation.

4. Don’t pace yourself. Accept no waiting! Do you really want that perfect body in 30 days? Then flip on the TV and order the latest, greatest gadget from one of those overnight infomercials. They really work. Plus, you almost always get a free gift or two if you ‘order now.’

5. Don’t believe in yourself. Adopt a ‘No I Can’t’ mentality.This is a well-kept secret of some of the most successful people in the world. For example, if you really want to drop some pounds, just say ‘no’ to every temptation that comes your way. Not one Hershey’s kiss. Not one potato chip. Not one carrot dipped in extra Ranch dressing. Ever!

6. Don’t set a deadline. By keeping your options completely open, you can be your own judge of progress made toward your goals. In six months’ time when you haven’t really seen any change at all, you can honestly say you haven’t failed but are just waiting to identify the perfect moment to break out of your rut.

7. Don’t tell anyone about your goals. Not. One. Soul. Once people know your business, they tend to lord it over you acting as your moral and spiritual compass. They’ll ask how you’re doing . . . remind you of your target . . . encourage you — and maybe even pray for your success. You certainly wouldn’t want anyone interfering like that.

8. Don’t do anything too hard. Simple is often better. Keep breathing. Keep eating. Keep sleeping. Basically don’t attempt to do anything a cat wouldn’t. Success is sure to be yours.

9. Don’t evaluate your progress or adjust your goals. Of course, if you follow #2 carefully, then this one will be a real piece of cake.

10. Don’t ask for God’s help. There’s what . . . seven billion people on this rotating rock called Earth? Surely He wouldn’t be interested in you. Do everything in your own power, and just think of the boasting you can do at the end of the year.

OK, so maybe you’ve picked up on a bit of sarcasm in this post. Someone once said that they weren’t making resolutions for the new year because last year’s resolutions were as good as new. Don’t let that be your testimony. I encourage you to take some time to identify just a few areas in which you’d like to see some improvement. Even if you haven’t fully specified your goals as of January 1, a few extra days of sincere and thoughtful planning will likely pay big dividends in the long run.

If you’re serious about making some changes in this new year, then I wish you all the best. Aim for S.M.A.R.T goals: Specific, Measurable, Action-Oriented, Realistic, and Time-Sensitive. Remember that moderation is preferable, and accountability is almost always essential.

In closing, consider these powerful and familiar words from the Apostle Paul:

“Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 3:12-14, ESV

May God richly bless you and your family in this new year of life.

IT’S YOUR TURN!
What are some things you wish to improve upon in this new year? What are the biggest challenges to reaching your goals?

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