I have deemed 2011 the ‘Year of Intentionality’ for me. I’m going to be much more efficient in my use of time . . . much more focused on the things that matter most — like personal health and relationships . . . and much more disciplined in reviewing my progress at pre-determined intervals.

As I suggested in my last post, I limited myself to five specific resolutions:

1. I will improve my spiritual life by memorizing two Bible verses per month and spending at least 30 minutes per day in prayer and Bible study (above and beyond my preparation for teaching/leading in my ministry position), and read through the entire Bible this year.

PROGRESS TO DATE: I have identified 24 different Bible verses or passages to memorize — and have memorized four new verses to day, utilizing this neat online program to help me. I am using YouVersion to read through my Bible – and I’ve stayed on track. I’ve also seen an increase in the quality of my personal time with God, which has been most refreshing. Now don’t get me wrong. I’ve always tried to make sure and spend time with God; I’m just being more intentional about it this year.

2. I will lose 20 pounds by working out four times per week, cutting out soft drinks and high-fat (especially most fried) foods, drinking at least eight glasses of water per day, and eating nothing after 8:00 p.m.

PROGRESS TO DATE: I scheduled regular workouts for the entire year and have kept my commitment to healthy eating. As a result, I have lost nearly nine pounds since January 1 (which means I’m nearly half-way to my goal!).

3. I will increase the quality of our home/family life by having lunch with my kids at school one time per month and playing a game with the kids at least one evening per week.

PROGRESS TO DATE: I scheduled regular appointments with my kiddos. Unfortunately, our recent winter weather threw a kink in those plans, so I haven’t yet been able to have lunch with them at school. I have played games with them — and even won one or two of them!

4. I will pay more attention to my relationship with my wife. I outlined several action steps, which I won’t detail here.

PROGRESS TO DATE:

5. I will save money by eating more meals at home and putting aside additional money for savings and for mission/charity giving.

PROGRESS TO DATE: The meals at home have actually helped a lot with Goal #2. It’s amazing how much easier it is to control the type and amount of food just by removing some of the temptations (like restaurant menus — with photos).

I’m looking at these five things as ‘vital signs’ for me in this new year. These are the things that make or break the quality of my life. I really struggled with some health issues toward the end of last year. In spite of the fact that I’ve already experienced one kidney stone this year, I’m convinced that I’m going to see a pay-off in the long run. The choices we make today will impact the kind of body we’ll have 20 years down the road.

You know, life really is all about choices. I believe that good things happen when we make good choices one choice at a time. Now I will admit that some of those choices have been difficult ones . . . like buying the mixed box of doughnuts from Shipley today, smelling them in the car on my way to my team meeting, and watching the staff enjoy them before my very eyes. I enjoyed my bowl of whole-grain Cherios — and silently cussed the devil for putting two chocolate-filled doughnuts in that box. Those are my absolute FAVORITE! And they’ve NEVER put them in a mixed box for me before!

I’ll be honest with you. During the past year, my life became a bit unbalanced. I didn’t manage my time as well as I should have. I allowed the poor planning of other people to be my problem. And I at times treated perfect strangers better than my own family. I’m committed to making the choices necessary to become a more balanced and more effective individual, and I believe that commitment is worth keeping.

I know that you might not think resolutions are a worthwhile investment of your time and energy, but I’ve never found myself worse off for resolving to be better. It’s still early in the year . . . and thank God, we can have a fresh start any day of our choosing because His mercies are new each morning. Don’t let 2011 kick you around and beat you up. Take charge of your schedule. Set an example of love for your family. Learn to say ‘no’ to the things that aren’t essential or beneficial. I led a study at my last church called “Freedom from Busyness.” The author, Michael Zigarelli, reminded me that for every ‘yes’ Jesus gave to the many requests during his earthly ministry, there were inevitably more times when he said ‘no.’ I realize that saying ‘no’ is sometimes uncomfortable. Some people might not approve — and that’s just a risk I have to take. I’m learning the truth of the adage: “The people who matter don’t mind, and the people who mind don’t matter.”

Oh, how I wish I’d learned that a long time ago.

IT’S YOUR TURN!
How is your new year going? Have you made any positive changes in your life? What are your ‘vital signs’?

We started with a couple days in Orlando, where we did a little sight-seeing and paid a visit to the world’s largest entertainment McDonald’s. It was a pretty cool restaurant, even if the workers couldn’t quite seem to figure out how to take orders. Despite the fancy menu items, I suppose it ran pretty much like any other McDonald’s in that respect. We intentionally saved the whole Disney World experience for a return trip, when the daughter will be old enough to really soak it all in. We did squeeze in a trip to Downtown Disney for some window-shopping and people-watching.

Following our time in Orlando, we drove to West Palm Beach, where we took a two-night cruise to the Bahamas. This was a very fun time for all of us. The scenery was beautiful, the food was delicious, and our time together just couldn’t have been better. The best part though was that my phone was out of service! No calls . . . no emails . . . no text messages — for 48 whole hours!

After docking, we drove to Fort Lauderdale and enjoyed some real down-time at our hotel with a full ocean view. We spent leisurely moments on the beach, riding the waves, collecting seashells, and soaking in the sunshine. Even with some high-powered sunblock, generously re-applied, we each managed to get pretty nasty sunburns. I suppose the sunburn is the closest we came to a lasting souvenir. The burn on my back actually has finger outlines, thanks to the kids hasty help with the sunscreen!

I’ve always enjoyed a good vacation . . . but this one was different. We really were able to enjoy some real rest and relaxation. Although our locations changed every couple days, we didn’t feel rushed. We had great weather, great laughs, and even got to reconnect with some great friends — and make some new ones.

Now it’s Monday again . . . and there are many things that need attention at the office. I think I just might take a few seashells to work so that I can ‘hear the ocean,’ as my little girl says.

Money is tight in this economy. Perhaps you can’t afford a big vacation . . . that’s OK. Just be sure to take some time to enjoy the ones you love. You’ll be glad you did. And you’ll make memories that last a lifetime.

I typically move at light-speed, juggling a-million-and-one tasks, each of which someone out there thinks should be priority #1. I’m learning though the important discipline of self-care; that is, making sure my own spirit is nourished, refreshed, and recharged so that I can be most engaged as a husband and father — and most effective as a minister.

I know this might seem a bit absurb, but I actually have to work at rest. You see, rest doesn’t come easy for me. I love my work. I love my family. I love the feeling of accomplishment that comes from striking things off a list, putting new ideas in action, and developing people and processes. Unfortunately though, all those things require another four-letter word: t-i-m-e. And for most people, it seems that time is one commodity that is in short supply.

Of course, the truth is that there have always been only 24 hours in a day. We just didn’t insist on packing them out, meeting ourselves coming and going, until finally we crashed and burned, having not one more ounce of energy to expend. That is, after all, by some standards a hallmark of success in our culture.

I’m personally ashamed sometimes when I realize how narrowly I set the margins in my own life . . . always working to squeeze in one more task, one more meeting, one more phone call — until I take a look around and realize that I’m all by myself. I think of a statement from author Michael Zigarelli, who gently reminds his readers that even Jesus knew the importance of rest and establishing boundaries. After all, for every place Jesus visited, he invariably had to say no to other invitations . . . other opportunities to do good things!

I hear so many ministers caution, “Don’t do what I did and live at the church.” Or, “Remember you’re not married to ministry.”

Those cautions have resonated loudly in my mind in recent weeks, as I’ve sought to come to grips with the demands of a new ministry setting. But Heather Zempel recently reminded me of the importance of keeping the Sabbath holy. Funny thing . . . for most ministers, the Sabbath is anything but a day of rest. That’s why we must be diligent to create adequate margin in life that allows those most important to always know — and never doubt — their value and significance. Moreover, that margin must allow for adequate time with our Creator . . . in personal worship, study, celebration, and meditation.

I think of two of the Ten Commandments: “You shall have no other gods before me”; and “Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy.”

How often I’m guilty of breaking those two in one fell swoop.

I’m going to be working harder. You can count on that. Sure, margins have to be adjustable with the give and take of life. But I’m going to be working harder to make sure that my default margins allow enough space to breathe . . . to rest . . . to recreate . . . and to remember that one day when I’m gone, the world will most likely keep right on spinning, never missing a beat.

James 4:14 points it out clearly:

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”

Lord Jesus, thank you for the energy and opportunities you give me to do your work. Help me daily to honor You not only in the way that I serve — but in the times when I simply remember to be still and know that You are God.

So, how do you maintain adequate margins in life?

Stress is a very normal part of life. All people experience it — some to a greater extent than others. In this crazy world in which we live, there is no shortage of factors that can cause stress — or distress, which ever term you like best. Stress can show up in ways that are physical, psychological, or emotional/spiritual. And all of us have experienced some symptoms in each category at some point in life.

Anytime stress impacts us, it also impacts those around us — especially those closest to us. It affects us as spouses, as employees, as parents, and as friends. Sometimes the people around us are able to recognize the effects of stress in our lives even before we ourselves.

Change of any kind can produce stress. In times of political and economic change, as we are currently experiencing, stress can take a real toll on the culture. As I mentioned a few days ago in my post about unemployment, people who are without work — or facing the threat of a lay-off — are at high risk of suffering from stress in many forms.

The fact is that none of us can know what the future holds. But, praise God, we know He holds the future. If you are experiencing a time of high stress, I encourage you to take adequate care of yourself. Here are a few tips:

• Be spiritually centered through prayer and meditation on the Word of God.
   
• Get proper rest and nutrition. Don’t skip meals!
   
• Carve out time to exercise at least several days per week. Exercise is a natural stress reliever.
   
• Find safe people with whom to share your frustrations.
   
• Do your best to leave work stress at the office. Don’t dump the stress on your spouse or kids!
   
• Find ways to unplug from work. In this world of advanced technology, it’s easy to always be “on” and constantly connected through e-mail, voice-mail, etc. Set aside some protected time to get away from it all.
   
• Make a daily list of things you are thankful for. It’s easy to focus on the negatives in life.
   
• We must be intentional in finding things that are positive. Surround yourself with positive people, positive music, and positive literature.
   
• If you find the news distressing, as many people do, limit your access to it. One time per day of listening to a typical radio or TV newscast will provide plenty of negative information!
   
• Find time each day to connect with your spouse and kids for at least a few meaningful minutes. These moments will remind you what’s most important in life — and keep you focused during difficult times.
   
• Set aside time each week for an extended focus on building your marriage relationship. Something as simple as a half-hour walk together, a lunch date, or a leisurely drive can really give you and your partner a boost.
   
• Enjoy sex with your spouse. Yes, you read that right! The sexual relationship is gift of God to help us connect with our spouses. When we take time to enjoy that gift, we experience relaxation and stress relief as an added bonus.
   
• Get involved in something bigger than yourself. Studies show that those who are involved in church and community activities typically handle stress better than those who live more isolated lifestyles.
   
• Find a few times per week to refresh your spirit. This may be through reading a good book, watching a light-hearted comedy show, taking a long hot bath, or some other favorite activity.

These are just a few ways to help manage stress. Hopefully you have found some other things that work well for you. I leave you today with a favorite Bible verse:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:4-5, NIV)

If you are married, please take a moment to answer this poll question:

Of course, pretty much everything on the list is important to someone. The bills have to get paid. The shopping has to get done. The kid’s homework has to be completed. And naturally the boss needs to be happy.

Time is truly one of our most valuable commodities, yet sometimes we treat it pretty carelessly. So where does your time go? Here’s a really quick quiz you can give yourself.

With a little effort and planning, you can go a long way to maximizing your time and re-establishing your priorities. Did you find out anything about yourself? What parts of the quiz hit home for you?

Where does the time fly?

I’m reminded how often I used to cringe as a kid when I’d hear my parents comment about how fast the holidays seemed to roll around. Now, as a busy husband and father, I seem to be feeling the exact same way.

Life is so hectic these days. We seem to have no trouble at all filling nearly every square inch of our calendar with activity. Of course, some of that business is really just busyness, isn’t it?

We would all do well to be constantly evaluating our activities in light of the things that are most important in life — things like faith, friends, and family.

I have a former client who is facing the holidays this year with recently-diagnosed stage four lung cancer. He was completely asymptomatic and in seemingly perfect health until a routine check-up revealed otherwise. Now he and his family are dealing with the reality of the brevity of life.

We would do well to heed the words of Christ in Matthew 6: “. . . each day has enough trouble of its own.” Let’s not go looking for trouble today. Let’s not push our calendars and our boundaries to their absolute limits. Instead, let’s be grateful for what we have.

Don’t you dare let this Christmas season pass by without you really engaging in the real meaning of it all. Take time to enjoy the sights and sounds. Make time for yourself — and for those you love.

Don’t take one single day for granted.