As we made our way back to Little Rock on Saturday evening, I received a phone call from my dad to let me know that an uncle (my mom’s sister’s husband) had been seriously injured in a motorcycle accident. As I processed this new information, I couldn’t help but think about how significant his injuries must be to warrant flying him by helicopter to the hospital in Tupelo and from there to the trauma center in Memphis.

After dropping off the kids at the house, I showered and shaved, refreshed my overnight bag, and headed out to be with my aunt and her sons. Spending time with family in the hospital provides a different perspective. It’s important to identify lessons from our life experiences. Here are a few of the ones I’ve been reminded of over the past few days:

1. Life is unpredictable. We never know what each day will bring. We are not in control; God is. Lives can be forever changed in one moment’s time. James 4:14 says, “You do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.” (ESV)

2. God is always present. Even during times that are dark, when we feel all alone, there’s no place we can go to escape His presence. Psalm 46:1 says, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” (ESV) I really like the way the New International Reader’s Version puts it: “God is our place of safety. He gives us strength. He is always there to help us in times of trouble.”

3. Storms of life provide a new perspective. Isn’t it funny how the little things that trouble us each day seem so incredibly insignificant when a major trial comes our way? People of every nation, race, background, and religion status experience very real problems from time to time. Pain, laughter, and music are universal languages.

4. Waiting is never easy. Whether we’re waiting to hear a medical update on a loved one’s condition, waiting on test results, or waiting on God to take away the pain, fear, and anxiety, it’s always hard to wait. Anxiety builds in the absence of information. No news is not always good news. And our patience is often pushed to the breaking point.

5. True friends are always there. In times of great difficulty, I’ve been reminded over and again how many people love me, care for me, and pray for me. Even when no words can change the situation, just having friends ‘be there’ makes a world of difference.

This song reminds me to trust God even when difficulties arise. I hope it will bless your heart.

My uncle remains in very critical condition. Thank you for your prayers for my family.

IT’S YOUR TURN!
What are some lessons you have learned in times of crisis?

“These Moments Called Today”

Whatever you are going through, wherever you might hide,
God is always waiting with His arms open wide.
He knows your disappointments, your challenges, and fears,
And He wants you to trust Him as He wipes away your tears.
When life leaves you speechless, and you don’t know what to say,
Just ask Him to light your path and help you find your way.
When you get discouraged, feel hopeless and alone,
Remember that He’s there for you and loves you as His own.
So however you are feeling, if you think He’s gone away,
Remember He is with you in these moments called ‘today.’

Indeed the first one-third of this year has been full of trials for many all over the world. From the political uprisings in the Middle East, to the earthquakes and tsunamis in various places, to the violent and deadly storms just this week, the news reads like a dramatic screenplay of Matthew 24.

In times like these I often ask the question, “How do people who have no faith in God make sense of the trials of this life?” I don’t necessarily know the answer to that question, but I do know that He has placed believers in this world to be the hands and feet of Christ to a world that very much needs to know He is real.

It’s easy in a world populated by some six billion people to have a diminished sense of responsibility. How often have you thought — or even said — to yourself, “Someone else will do it?” Friends, what if we are that someone? Now is not the time to roll over and say, “Woe is me.” Now is the time to stand up to the challenges at hand, with full confidence and faith in Christ that He will work through us to help usher in His Kingdom on earth.

In his book Missional Small Groups, author M. Scott Boren writes:

I find it interesting that Jesus told His disciples, “You are salt, . . . light . . . a city on a hill.” He did not say, “You should be . . . ,” “You would be if . . . ,” or “You could be if . . . .” He declared who they were and equipped them to live in a way that fit this declaration.

Jesus never promised His followers that this life would be easy; quite the contrary. His words in John 16:33 are clear: “In the world you will have tribulation.” Thankfully He doesn’t stop there. “But take heart; I have overcome the world.” He will walk with us through the storms of life, and that brings me great comfort.

I also love this reminder from Psalm 46:1-3:

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling. (ESV)

No matter what happens in this world, we can be assured that God is still fully in control.

Whatever trial or trouble you may be facing today, know that if you belong to Christ, then you need not worry about the things of this life because we have the promise of ultimate victory in Him. Just know that the trials we face often provide us with a context in which to connect others to the redemptive message of the Gospel. Let’s be diligent to not squander such opportunities.

I’m mindful today of the words of this familiar chorus:

People need the Lord. People need the Lord.
At the end of broken dreams, He’s the open door.
People need the Lord. People need the Lord.
When will we realize that we must give our lives,
For people need the Lord.

(Phillip J. McHugh & Greg Nelson, 1983)

I’ve always been a real fan of fall. I love the colors and the transition from hot temperatures to cooler, more bearable weather. However, the older I get, the more I love springtime. Having grown up in the deep South, the return of spring was hailed by frolicking wildlife seemingly celebrating the end of the hunker-down season. I remember watching squirrels at play, almost overnight shedding their poofy winter coats for something a little more tailored. The red robins do a similar change of wardrobe that I’ve always found fascinating.

Having returned to the real South from Texas (which I dearly love) nearly two years ago, I’ve again fallen in love with the sights and sounds of spring. Just in the past few weeks, the hills of Arkansas have come alive with flowering trees and shrubs, beautifully brilliant daffodils and tulips (my wife’s favorite), and mysteriously majestic dogwood trees, all of which announce the end of winter. I absolutely love my backyard because of the dogwood that for a period of just a couple weeks transforms the landscape with its bright white blossoms.

Not everything is so cheery in life. If you’re anything like me, you’ve largely given up on finding any good news on TV. In fact, too much time with that can make me quite depressed. I’ve found though that while man is destined to disappoint, God is faithful to do just what He says He will do. Just as his eye is on the sparrow, we can be assured that He is watching over His children. My recent visit to Israel was filled with so many amazing sights. I think my personal favorites were the lilies of the field (seen at left). Jesus himself said that “even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.” (Matt. 6:29, ESV) As you can see, judging from this photo, who could argue that?

In a world filled with so much hurt, pain, sickness, calamity, brokenness, grief, and loss, it helps me to look around and again “taste and see that the Lord is good.” (Psalm 34:8, ESV). When you feel all alone and begin to  think all hope is lost, lift up your head and cast your eyes on the evidence of our Creator — and know that He cares for you. If you’re reading this and don’t know what it’s like to have peace in the midst of the storm, I encourage you to contact me, and let me help you discover new life today. Whatever you may be going through, God can give you just what you need to persevere.

IT’S YOUR TURN!
What is your favorite thing about spring? How do you stay focused on good in a world full of evil?

I have counseled countless individuals through the years who have suffered unimaginable abuse at the hands of friends and family members — people they should have been able to trust. While Christ’s example of forgiveness establishes the pattern for our own lives, there are many things that are quite outside the realm of our influence and control. Chief among them is the fact that while God is able to forget as far as east is from west, He has designed our brains to remember. And that design is partly for our own protection. Another factor beyond our control is the capacity to somehow undo damage that has been done.

I submit that it is entirely possible to forgive someone (that is, to set the offense aside and hold them responsible no more) without restoring the relationship to its prior level of trust and intimacy. Forgiveness, after all, is really not about the other person; it’s about the one who was offended. It is ultimately a gift we give ourselves — the freedom to move on in light of the new reality of life with a scar of some sort to help us remember the risks associated with human relationships.

I would go a step further and say that there are certain situations in which forgiveness and relationship restoration are simply incompatible goals. As parents, for example, we are charged with the safety and protection of our children — physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Some offenses cut so deep that any fantasy of a three-strike rule for the offender must be immediately abandoned. To do anything else would be foolish, stupid, and wholly irresponsible.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Many offenders are masters of deception, smooth talkers, and incredible manipulators of truth. They will say and do absolutely anything to again exert their power and convince others that any natural consequences of their sin are unfair, unjust, and unwarranted.

I wish more than anything that these things were not true. I wish that the building blocks of life, once broken, could always be used to restore every relationship to its highest level of previous functioning. The truth is that fairy-tale endings are reserved for the movies, where a team of highly skilled writers, producers, and actors work together for hours on end to achieve an optimal outcome. The problem is that no relationship is perfect. No person is without sin. And no offense is too great to receive forgiveness.

Scripture says that so far as it depends on us, we are to be at peace with others. Sadly, that sometimes means forgiveness without restoration or reconciliation . . . a far cry from that fairy-tale ending our hearts yearn to experience and our souls long to see.

Forgiveness for most is a process, not a one-time action. With practice we hopefully learn to do it better with time. In the meantime we must accept its limitations just as we accept its liberty to move on.

Interact with Us!
What are your thoughts on forgiveness? Have you ever experienced a situation in which relationship restoration was not possible?

All that said, there are lessons we can learn from reading and watching the news. I admittedly try to limit my consumption of it, since it is clinically proven as bad for our health. Still, the events of the past nine days have been eye-opening to me — and I’ve been reminded of some tough lessons in leadership that are perhaps worth sharing.

For those of you unfamiliar with the big story from the D/FW metroplex, on Father’s Day (June 20) the adult son of the brand-spanking new Dallas Police Chief, David Brown, Sr. (in that position for about two months) killed Lancaster police Officer Craig Shaw as Shaw responded to the call of a shooting at an apartment complex. (Click here to read the original story from WFAA). According to the report, “the Lancaster officer — a five-year veteran of the force and the father of two children — was answering a ‘shooting in progress’ call around 6 p.m. when there was an exchange of gunfire.”

A 37-year-old five-year officer — a husband and father of two children — was killed on Father’s Day by the son of the new Dallas Police Chief.

OK, so it’s a bad situation already. A tragic loss of life for a family. The only officer killed in the line of duty in the history of the Lancaster department. And a pretty rough start, I’d say, for the new head of DPD, who must deal with not only the loss of an area officer who was killed by his son – but also with the loss of the son himself — also killed in the incident.

Fast forward to Sunday, June 27, after a full week of a news dominated by coverage of the incident, the aftermath, and the preparations for the funeral of a police officer.

Just when you think a situation couldn’t get any worse . . . well, it does.

(Click here for that part of the story.) Essentially, in the chief’s absence, two assistant chiefs made a grave mistake by calling multiple Dallas officers to escort the funeral procession for the chief’s son, David Brown, Jr. Apparently this assignment was not made long before the officers’ primary assignment of escorting the same-day funeral procession for the Lancaster officer who was killed in the line of duty — by the Dallas chief’s son.

With profound empathy for all involved in this terrible situation, I share the view of countless others — that this decision, regardless of the reason, was not only wrong; it was also offensive to the family of Officer Shaw. I admit that being the brother of a state trooper makes me particularly sympathetic to this salt in an open wound.

Now the escort debacle doesn’t materially change the situation even one bit. Two men are dead. Two men are buried. Many friends and family members are left to pick up the pieces and somehow move on in light of the reality of their passings.

However, this awful situation highlights some key principles of leadership, among them:

1. Leaders must be prepared to lead. Crises happen every day in our lives. Situations demand quick response time. The problem is that when leaders lack the judgment to make sound decisions under pressure, then insult is added to injury and fuel to fire.
      
2. Leaders must be willing to accept responsibility. When a gaffe as big as this funeral procession fiasco happens, ownership means saying ‘I’m sorry’ — not defending the bad decision to the nth degree.
      
3. Leaders must be willing to intentionally surround themselves with other solid leaders. No individual is an island unto himself. Those who constitute a leader’s nucleus of support must be capable of stepping up to the plate and delivering effective results, consistent with the collective integrity of the organization’s members.
       
4. Leaders must be willing to learn from the lessons of life. No one could have predicted something like this. Nothing can undo the damage that has been done. No words can assuage the raw hurt. Time alone does not heal wounds; it’s what we do with the time that counts. Leaders do well to reflect on their decisions in the company of others for the purpose of identifying any clouded judgments or possible blind spots.

Situations like this take time to process. Every day many of us face challenges in leadership on a different scale, but nonetheless challenges which we must be competent to handle. When people begin to view us as incompetent, lacking confidence, or belligerent, it’s probably time to start packing the bags — because leadership demands respect, and respect demands trust. Without those two essentials, one is not really leading anyone. He’s merely taking a walk.

And not a one of us is exempt from that harsh standard of evaluation. Only by the power of Christ can we lead well through the hills and valleys of life.

The other night I joined my kids for a game of Hide-n-Seek. While they counted to 20, I quickly positioned myself behind a chair in our family room. However, it wasn’t until I got back there that I realized the space really wasn’t large enough. So I contorted my body into a perpetual crunch, bending my feet upward at the ankles so as to remain hidden from sight.

And I waited.

And I waited.

And I waited.

For nearly fifteen minutes I waited, listening impatiently to the pitter-patter of little feet up and down the stairs! There were a couple of times when my physical pain was nearly unbearable, and in those times I found myself struggling not to snicker audibly at the mere thought of my predicament. Finally my three-year-old daughter crawled up in the chair and looked over the edge of the back. I can honestly say I’ve never been so glad to be found in all my life!

Needless to say, that spot can never be used again . . . not that I would!

In reflecting on this experience, I began to wonder about the lengths people go to in order to hide from people in life — not physically but emotionally and spiritually.

Think about it. We all tend to show people just what we think they want to see — or what we’re comfortable with them seeing. When it comes to some of our deeper struggles, especially those laden with guilt and shame, we resort to the same skill set that Adam and Eve used in the Garden of Eden: hiding.

We hide behind smiles. We hide behind silence. We hide behind stories and work and food and shopping and sex. The list of options are truly endless.

But just like that over-sized kid hiding behind a chair, what we crave more than anything is actually to be found . . . to be accepted . . . to be loved.

You know, hiding didn’t work for Adam and Eve. And it won’t work for us either — at least not forever. God sees everything. He knows our name. He formed our heart. There’s nothing in the world that will keep Him from loving you.

As you go through your day today, make note of when you find yourself trying to hide from others. Sooner or later the pain of hiding will likely begin to exceed your fear of being found.

Scripture tells us that Christ alone is our hiding place. He’s the One who fully understands every need, every struggle, every burden. But sometimes we need others to be His hands and feet to demonstrate that love in physical ways.

If you are spending your time and energy hiding out, take action to break that pattern. Even if you’ve been disappointed in others, you can begin re-building relationships of security and trust right where you are today.

After all, it gets awfully lonesome behind that chair. And sooner or later, you’ll have to go potty.

IT’S YOUR TURN!

• Do you have a ‘big chair’ experience?
• What one thing most keeps you from being real with others?

However, questions linger and are actually being fueled today by the family’s Thursday night appearance on Larry King Live, in which the previously missing six-year-old said, “We did this for the show.” (Story here.)

I just bet they did.

I said yesterday that I would withhold judgment for a bit. Well, I have some thoughts that transcend the whole balloon incident.

First of all, it would seem to me that these children are being raised in an extremely laissez-faire environment. Why in the world would these kids be playing on the roof with a video camera? And yes, apparently both mom and dad were home at the time, so supervision theoretically should have been going on.

Secondly, I stand by my original statement that these parents (or at least the dad) indicate a huge need for attention that goes far beyond any normal limits. And I simply detest it when people even remotely appear to exploit their children to fulfill that attention need. Jon and Kate are another example of reality shows gone very bad. I suppose that’s why I very rarely tune in to such programming. The skeptic in me is always at work.

Thirdly, I’m all for adventure. And clearly this father is adventurous. With his incredible attraction to science and fascination for exploring extraterrestrial life, he seems quite the character. Add to that this interest in making homemade helium balloons, and . . . well, let’s just say it would seem that his sense of daring and adventure has  overtaken any reasonable level of common sense.

The fact of the matter is that we’ll probably never know for sure what the real situation was. Did the parents really believe the small child was in the balloon? If so, then why did we hear nothing about a detached basket until after the thing crash-landed? I mean, with the whole world watching on live TV, it was pretty clear that there was no basket for the 90 some-odd minutes that I watched.

I guess that on the bright side, this kid will have a great story to write when his teacher assigns the “What’s the Most Exciting Thing That’s Ever Happened to You?” essay.

Never mind. I’m wrong about that. Who wants to read about someone hiding in a box in the attic for four hours?

I guess the dad will just have to keep trying. After all, with a name like Falcon, this kid of his was apparently born to fly.

Better yet, family therapy and parenting classes. Now there’s an idea worth pursuing.

This family was apparently featured on the ABC reality show “Wife Swap.” I don’t know about you, but that just screams “attention need” to me. Add to that the father’s seeming proclivity for keeping himself in the public spotlight via iReports on CNN, and you have a wonderfully tasty recipe for skepticism to develop.

The news reports are all over the place, in terms of where the family members were — and what they were doing — in the moments just before the balloon allegedly “broke loose.”

I have a lot more that I could say about this situation that has captured the attention of millions, interrupted air traffic, and stirred fear in the hearts of parents and grandparents all over the world.

But I’ll reserve judgment. For now.

And hope that I’m very wrong about what I’m thinking and feeling at present. Time will tell.

I’ve always loved that particular song from my childhood. And its message is just as true today as it was then. God is still working on me . . . shaping me . . . sanding me . . . doing whatever is necesary to conform me to the image of His Son.

I’ll be the first to admit that the work God is doing isn’t always comfortable. In fact, it can be quite painful at times. But when I put aside my pride, my fears, and my natural tendency to fight against Him, I can see the intricate detail of the Master Craftsman beginning to expose the radiance of the Son.

Just for a moment. Just for a fleeting second. Just for the length of time it takes one grain of sand to pass through the hourglass.

But that one moment is just enough to persuade me to cooperate with the One who so desperately wants to transform me into that ‘new creation’ Paul wrote about in Scripture.

And for that one moment, faith takes flight . . . cares are quieted . . . and I can see just enough light for each step in the journey.

I’m so grateful to have a Heavenly Father who cares enough to handcraft me . . . to discipline me . . . and to remind me on a moment-by-moment basis that He loves me with a love that won’t let go.