4 Practical Ways to Help Hurting Friends

May 18, 2012 — 2 Comments

All of us have hard times in life. For most, these hard times don’t represent the majority of our days. However, there are definitely people who struggle for extended periods with problems, difficulties, and situations that just don’t seem to improve.

I have some friends and family members who are presently experiencing difficult days. While I won’t claim to have all the answers, I would like to offer four suggestions for helping those who are hurting:

1. Pray for them. Why is it that even for Christians prayer is often our last resort rather than our first response? I believe that prayer changes things, so I pray for my hurting friends, knowing that the God of the universe hears our cries and cares deeply for His children. I’ve found that praying for people is something easy to promise when asked — but just as easy to forget once I’m distracted by the busyness of life. Never underestimate the power of praying with your friends in their time of need. We bond with one another when we pray aloud together.

2. Be present with them. So many times we struggle to find the right words to say. Often that’s because there simply are no words. Nothing we can say will change the situation or alleviate the pain. Be willing to be present with your friends. When I minister to people who are gravely ill or to families who have just lost one to death, I’ve found that just being there is enough. In our busy society we’re prone to try and fix things. Just be present and available to listen or pray or cry. Your presence is an invaluable gift.

3. Allow them an opportunity to have a get-away. This one is not always possible for every situation, but there’s usually some way to pull it off. When emotional burdens drain your friends’ life and energy, offer to watch the kids . . . or take your friends for a drive in the country . . . or give them a gift card to the movies. Just a little time away — a change of pace — can provide a much-needed respite from the constant cares and stresses of life.

4. Take them a meal. No matter what is going on, at some point your friends have to eat. A nutritious, home-cooked meal — or even a restaurant gift card — can provide a practical help. Many Sunday School classes and ministry groups now use a handy, user-friendly website to coordinate meals for those in need. Click here to check it out.

In almost every situation, we can find some way to be helpful to those who are hurting. Just remember that if you’re not hurting now, you will be one day. Do something for others that you’d like to have done for you in your time of need.

“So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.” – Galatians 6:10

What are some practical ways others have been helpful to you in times of need?

2 responses to 4 Practical Ways to Help Hurting Friends


    When your world falls apart, in the beginning people come around you but after a few days their life goes on like normal. Meanwhile, you are still dealing with a train wreck. Consider calling that friend daily to “check in” to see how they are doing. Ask them how frequently you should call. Ask – what has been your biggest struggle today or what are you least looking forward to tomorrow. That will give you a sense of how to meet real needs and how to pray for your friend. Be there for the long haul.

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